Teri Parris Ford's Blog

A Game of Thrones: Book One Review

Monika had a soccer game out in Fitchburg this morning. I dropped her off and went to a nearby dog park (Prairie Moraine) which is right next to a Lutheran church. I found it interesting that the dog park parking lot had nearly twice as many cars as the church. Sunday morning worship is quite popular at the dog park, I know. It seems to be a family tradition for some. I am used to trekking out on my own. I took my nook with me, because it's gotten to a point I can hardly put it down (unless I'm falling asleep). Well I finished book one (A Game of Thrones) at the dog park. Luckily it wasn't too cold. I like taking the nook out on walks with Balt but I've found if it's below freezing the nook also freezes. That's when I wish I was reading a paperback.

I've read quite a few captivating books in my life and this is up there among the best. I love the different story lines, that are woven together with great detail. I especially enjoyed the 13 year old exiled Daenerys' story and how it ends with her (I won't be a spoiler-- but it's so awesome!). Geof initially mentioned the HBO series to me over winter break and then while wondering in B&N, I came across the book series and began reading it. When Monika got her nook for Christmas, I found I could download a portion for free. That's how I got hooked. I forked over $30 to download the whole series into the nook. I figure someday Monika will read it. It'll be a year or two before I'll be able to stream the HBO series on netflix, so I figured I might as well read it first. It's won awards and been on the best seller list for good reason. 

After the dog park, I came home and made lunch for the girls. I was eager to begin reading the next book, but spent some time cleaning. I went to yoga and then grocery shopping. We had a nice family dinner and while Jessi and her dad watch a movie, I got my nose back into the nook (Monika did homework). Superbowl? No one cares about it in my home and with no television, it doesn't matter anyway.

It's really Winter now.

We woke up to a dissappointing show of no snow yet. Any small hope of a snow day was out the window, but we knew it was not all that probable going to bed. I took Balt for a good walk after drinking a fresh cup of coffee, not sure if I'd be able to take him after school. As the day progressed, so did the snow fall. The wind was sharp and the temps continued to drop. Games and meetings for afterschool were cancelled which made the schedule suddenly free. That's the best part of winter storms. I came home and curled up with the nook and hot tea to read. 

I made it to yoga tonight. I did not do hot yoga but made it to a favorite flow class at 7:45pm. I was glad I went. I knew doing a 30 day hot yoga challenge was going to be tough. Between the physical strain and the schedule conflicts, I'm thinking I need to back off my challenge for this month and try it in the summer when time issues aren't an excuse. I can still get 30 classes in in 30 days if I double up on the weekend, but I thought of something better (read easier). I started reading The Game of Thrones. I purchased the whole A Song of Ice and Fire series for Monika's nook. I'm thinking a better 30 day challenge was to spend time reading everyday this month. It was a new year's resolution I did not keep last year. I've missed reading regularly in part because I'm so busy but mostly, I haven't found something to captivate me. Well, I'm now completely captivated. 

The Help (2011)

I finished reading the book last week and then tonight our book club met to chat and then see the movie. The book was a good read, entertaining and yet horrific at times. The story takes place in the early sixties, only a few years earlier from the time I grew up (I was born in 1965) but in Mississipi. I must say I couldn't help but cringe at the great amount of rasism the story revealed to me and yet it was a happy ending kind of book. It hints at an ugliness, like a man wearing a bag over his head might suggest ugliness. I cried at the end of the book and I cried at the end of the movie for the same reasons. I pushed tears away at the movie tonight, not wanting to admit just how very ugly rasism is. The book entertains while touching on the the very sensitive issue rasism, the film takes on less, leaving behind a few story details that may have wieghed it down too much. (I don't want to be a spoiler here so I'll keep it vague). I was slightly dissappointed but completely understood the movie could only do so much in 2 hours. Both the book and the movie give a strong voice to black women. Octavia Spencer (plays Minnie) steals the show. I'd like to think that the "Ol' Miss" rasism is all past us now, but I fear there are still a few Mississippi rasist remnents still out there somewhere. I do hope they are a very small minority now and very close to death. 

The holidays are on ice.

Tonight was book club night. We were suppose to read either  Sedaris' Holidays on Ice OR Dickens' Christmas Carol. I wanted to read Dickens, but never had time to actually get to it. I'm still looking forward to sitting by the Christmas tree lights with a fire lit to read it. I ended up listening to Sedaris on NPR where I found one of his chapters on line and laughed out loud. It's some funny stuff. Tonight we were a small bunch of book clubbers, but having two English teachers in the bunch helped to add a bit of literary know how to the conversation. In general we talked mostly about school, classes, kids and our own families. Its always interesting to see how the conversations travel. The darkness of the humor added a bit of unusual interest to the conversation

It's been crazy cold, not only outside but inside. We had something mechanical go out at school so a heating unit is not working properly. The air conditioning was blowing on me in the art department which is crazy when its 20 degrees out. 

Jessi took my car to lunch today which meant I got in the pool again. "Twice in one week!" one of the other teachers who swims called out to me, "hey, it must be a good week?" Yeah, I guess so. 

 

The Book Club

A couple of years back a teacher wanted to start a book club. We all picked a good book, I even read it, but we never actually met. When the same teacher decided to give it another go, I decided I wouldn't worry about actually reading the book (Water for Elephants). This time the book club actually met and even though I didn't read the book I thoroughly enjoyed being in the club. It's an eclectic group of teachers, all female. Our second meeting was tonight at my place and we were supposed to read Olive Kitteridge. I was excited to have my new couches for everyone to sit on. I made strawberry margaritas and we had cupcakes, chips and dip.

I had purchased the book but failed to finish it. It was an odd book-- disjointed at times and I was happy to hear my colleagues (they completed the book) have similar feelings. Olive, a large, older, unforgiving type of woman, was not always a nice person, but had moments of amazing empathy. At times I totally understood her, but wished I didn't. After hearing all the comments about the book, I resolved to finish this one before jumping into the next book. It looks like the club is on for real now. It's a bunch of smart women who's company I really enjoy, so I'm pretty excited about actually being a part of a book club. It's something I have always wanted to do!

The Evolution of God; more than a book report.

So, it took me a long time to read this book. Its 459 pages of non-fiction is not the typical Teri Parris Ford read. I saw this book at Borders and mentioned it to Jim as something I was interested in and he had already purchased it, so I started reading it. While the book isn’t really about the evolution of God, it is really a discussion of the cultural evolution of religion. So the focus is not on whether God exists, but how humans have envisioned and approached God in history. 

The author sees religion as going somewhere, guided by God, so to speak. Judaism, Christianity and Islam all appear to have a "moral direction," and that direction is toward the good. In the end, the author, Robert Wright, sees this evolution of God (or religion), might actually provide evidence for God’s existence, His reality.

"If history naturally pushes people toward moral improvement, toward moral truth, and their God, as they conceive their God, grows accordingly, becoming morally richer," he writes, "then maybe this growth is evidence of some higher purpose, and maybe -- conceivably -- the source of that purpose is worthy of the name divinity." 

Okay, why am I reading a book like this anyway. There’s no romance in it at all. Quite frankly, I’ve been avoiding books like this for a long time. I started reading The God Gene; How Faith is Hardwired into our Genes a couple of years ago and could not finish it. It made a lot of sense, but I didn’t want to explain spirituality with physiology. I think mostly I didn’t want to think about my own spiritual crisis of sorts. Then this year I started feeling the stress of not thinking about it. I think you can only ignore a crisis for so long and then it starts hitting you over the head, or tapping you in the eye. I kept feeling stressed and wondered why. Could it be because I am ignoring my spirituality? Maybe, or maybe not. I needed to find out.

So first, I will just say, there’s no way I am not believing in God. I can’t even go there. Big bang? Really? I mean, really? We’re all just one big accident. I don’t think so. I’d sooner believe in aliens. I haven't completely lost my faith. I can still recite the Nicene Creed in good faith. It’s not God that causes problems, it’s the religion that bothers me, in all honesty-- almost as much as politics. The last church we attended was the third to disappoint me and to reveal huge areas of hypocrisy. I just felt like, “three strikes and I’m out” (out of here, out). To go into the minutia of it all would take pages and pages of silly details that don’t really mean anything to anyone but me. The bottom line is that it is about MY experience in the church and how I feel like I don’t belong there, experientially. At least, I have yet to find a church. And that is part of the problem. I’ve given up and I’ve stopped trying. I stopped reading and I stopped thinking about it. I made it a non-issue, when it’s a big issue. My spirituality is a big part of who I am and I have been ignoring that part for while. I need to better understand that part of who I am. So I started reading about God, not from a Christian point of view but from an educated agnostic’s point of view. I’d like to read Mark next—it’s the one gospel that many educated folks feel is the most reliable. Then? I don’t know, maybe it’s time to re-read Harry Potter 7.

"Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." --Psalm 46:10 (NAS)

Winners all around...

I got into work this morning at 7am for the 15th annual photography show award celebration. I set up the coffee, cream cheese, bagels and got awards ready. Kids started coming in at 7:30 and we gave out awards at 7:50am. It was a very nice ceremony for some very nice photos. Joe teased me saying that my image was considered for best staff picture but passed up because I had won in the past. 

During backyards we put on the finals of the Rock, Paper, Scissors Showdown. It was in the main gym with a nice crowd. I stayed up late last night creating the prize t-shirt that the only girl competing ended up winning. 

At lunch I ran out to do errands, including go home to eat since I did not have time to make my lunch this morning. After school I stayed around for a bit prepping materials for tomorrow. I got home to find I did not have a lot to do. I did dishes and vacuumed while Jim and Monika played cards. Jessi's track team mates all went out to dinner for cinco de Mayo, so the Monika, Jim and I went to Starbucks for dinner... kind of. The two of them had had a sandwich while playing, so they weren't hungry. Once Jessi got home we all watched Glee. It's always nice to have an evening with a little free time on our times.

Recovery, Laughter and Heartburn

Jim and I are recovering from our trip.  Both of us feel sore and aren't really sure if it's from the trip or from getting back to normal that is making our muscles ache.  Today we had a college art student come for lunch.  Melissa bought burritos for us and as the four of us (Joe, Mel, myself and our student friend) sat eating we chatted about life and laughed pretty heartily.  I love laughing... it's so much fun. 

While on my trip I read the book, A Whole New Mind, by Daniel Pink.  It was a great book for me to ponder on as the author proposes that the future belongs to artists, inventors and storytellers.  It sounds like my kind of future.  He says that studies show that laughter can decrease stress hormones and boost the immune system.  What's interesting is that we rarely laugh alone.  It's a social activity that makes us happier as well as healthier.

As the school day came to an end, I thought all the laughter had given me a side ache, but I think it was the burrito that gave me heartburn.  Oh, I'm getting old! 

Breaking Dawn ...and they lived happily ever after.

I stayed up until 2am last night and couldn't get it finished, so I was up this morning at 8am, eager to read with some coffee.  I love a good story and this one is good-- long and drawn out, sexy, bloody, lovey and dovey.  Why finish a story in 3 books, when it needs 4?  This fourth part ties everything up in a nice bow with a lot of growling, wincing and cringing.  Since the movie trailers to the first book are out, I couldn't help but read the fourth picturing the characters and seeing it on film. Although Twilight may not be rated yet, it's PG-13 material-- Breaking Dawn will have to be rated R and could even go NC-17 if we got to see all the sex and gore that is alluded to in the book.  {spoiler; vampire virgin Edward and human virgin Bella get married and consummate their crazy love on their honeymoon; they have a 1/2 monster baby that rips Bella apart in a alien like manner, necessitating Edward to save his bride by turning her into a vampire by stabbing her in the heart with his own venom--> how do you keep all that PG-13?}

Party at Borders

After a long day of swimming, tennis, cleaning and computer work, we are ending the evening at Borders in order to be among the first to get Stephanie Meyer's Breaking Dawn. The store was filled with gaggles of giggling girls, Jessi was one of the louder ones not in costume.  Very few were in white face paint, but many had handmade t-shirts celebrating their favorite character, some in vampire capes, others simply dressed up for the special occasion!

Why Do I Love These People?

Melissa gave me this book after Erika moved out, she had read another book by Po Bronson she liked and wanted to offer a kind gesture.  I started reading it today and am not sure I like it-- it's kind of a feel good book and I am not sure I want to feel good.  Still I was interested in the author.  I checked out Po's blog and found a great article on kids lying he also wrote (they all lie) and another one on why not to tell your kids they're smart.  The book is about unique family stories that easily suck you in but there is only so many I want to read in one day.  It makes me think about joy and sadness in my own family.  Of course there is so much more joy, but the sadness is there too.

The Secret

A couple of years ago my brother sent me the 2006 film called The Secret and I watched with great interest, not once, but several times.  When the book came out about a year later, I immediately purchased it for reference.  Although I am a believer, I am not a very good practitioner.  The secret is the Law of Attraction.  The law takes the principal "Like Attracts Like" and applies it to desired thought. Although it may come from some Hindu philosophies, it is also very Christian/Jewish.  Proverbs 23:7a "For as he thinks within himself, so he is."  Thus, thoughts (conscious and unconscious), emotions, and beliefs cause a change in the physical world that attracts positive or negative experiences that correspond to the original thoughts, even without the person taking actions to attain such experiences.

I do practice the secret. I always have a parking spot near the front at the gym waiting for me.  I expect it and kind of feel like I deserve it, so it is always there.  Today I popped in to see a colleague at work, a counselor, who is amazingly positive and is really good at seeing reality in a better way.  I left his office thinking good thoughts.  Later in the car I spoke out loud things I want to be true-- calling on the Universe to make it so.  I do fear the "name it and claim it" mentality... I am not looking for a prosperity gospel.  My criticism of the law of attraction is the problem of pain (or evil).  Not all who are diagnosed with cancer thought themselves into illness-- I can't expect all to simply think themselves healthy, even though so much of health is a mind set.  I am seeking a healthy family life. I am saying it is, it must be and calling on God and quantum physics to help me out.

ti.(red)

I realized today that even with working out, I am still gaining weight and feeling tired.  I feel emotionally drained and physically weak.  I need a change and I need it quick.  I ran over to Barnes & Noble to get a detox book and found The Fast Track Detox Diet from the same author who wrote the Fat Flush.  So I need a week to get my body ready for my detox day. I'll be eating broccoli, greens, citrus, eggs, celery, psyllium, apples, and flax along with a healthy diet.  I won't be eating fat, sugar, artificial sweeteners, refined carbo's, gluten, caffeine, milk or cheese-- which means no lattes for a while! After that 7-day prequel, I fast for a day followed by a 3-day sequel.  I will keep you posted on my progress.

A Thousand Splendid Suns

Khaled Hosseini was born in Kabul, Afghanistan, in 1965.  I was born in Los Angeles, California, in 1965.  I can tell we are from the same generation- early gen-x.  In September of 1980, Hosseini's family moved to San Jose, California, later he lived in LA.  I can tell.  I recall Jim saying he could tell if someone was from LA... there is something very "Californian" about them.

A Thousand Splendid Suns is the second book I have read from Khaled Hosseini.  Once I find an author I enjoy, I like to keep reading more of their work.  I very much enjoyed his style.  A Thousand Splendid Suns is female centered and a little more depressing than Kite Runner primarily because the main characters stay in Afghanistan, rather than leave like they did in is first book.  He shares historical facts within this fictional story that makes you both love and hate the Afghans.  There is no glorification of their culture, but he shares its richness and glory as well as its deficits and horror.

After reading the book, I emailed Jim and asked him to find me a burqa.  I would love to wear one for halloween, but it doesn't look like he can get one for me.  He said they have too much association with the taliban there on his base.  It's just as well, I would have ended up offending someone.

The Kite Runner

My copy is falling apart.  The first 20 pages are loose and shoved in the front of the book that is tattered.  I bought this book many months after Jim asked me to read it, because he felt it would help me understand Afghanistan.  I got right it before we left for California.  Erika grabbed it on the plane while I began another book.  When she finished it at the beach she handed it to me and told me, "you have to read this".

I finally finished it last night, more than a month after starting it. Rahim Khan (Amir's father's friend) tells Amir, the main character, near the end of the book, "A man who has no conscience, no goodness, does not suffer. I hope your suffering comes to an end with this journey to Afghanistan." (page 301)  I thought of my husband after reading this passage and I understood it was because of his goodness he suffers and I cried.  The book is about a man living with the load of regret.  I have heard people who saw me reading this book how good it was, one said it was the best book they ever read--the person who said that must have something in their past they deeply regret.  Although I understood Amir's pain, I was glad not to feel it. I had trouble with the language at times, mixing up names, not understanding the bits of Farsi he through in often.  And when it was all over, I signed deep relief, I am so glad I do not have a life with so much sorrow.

The Voice of Knowledge

Last night I went to bed crying... I get sad sometimes, mostly because I am overly sensitive and a little too emotional.  The things other people say (or write) upset me and I carry on with that inner voice of exaggeration.  I picked up The Voice of Knowledge initially over the summer because it had some discussion of the creation/garden "myth" at the beginning.  I had thumbed through Ruiz's Four Agreements book before, and although it looked good, it seemed a little simplistic.  Those same agreements are discussed in this book as well (see below).  Last night was a night I should've went through the things I had learned in this book, but didn't.  Although written in a way that seems simple, the depth of understanding about the human mind and the way it thinks is pretty intense.  I was surprized with the way knowledge is actually seen as a negative, emotion is more trusted- that goes against everything I was ever taught in my Western education.  When we are upset, things are not well, when we are happy something is going good.  In general I am a happy person, but I take things too personal.  It's very difficult for me to feel rejection (misunderstanding or not, it is what I feel).  Practicing the wisdom in these books can be life changing- the key is in the practicing.

• Be impeccable with your word - Say only what you mean.
• Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you.
• Don’t make assumptions - Communicate with others clearly
• Always do your best - Under any circumstance, simply do your best