Teri Parris Ford's Blog

Keeping on Keeping on

Well, there's not a lot to report... good weather, fall colors, house cleaning, yoga, art making. My painters just started a watercolor still life, so I'm making one (see beginning outlines posted here). I'm doing a bowl of pears with an apple, knowing it's something my mom would have enjoyed. I also have been making small clay gnomes for Jessi. I've started my xmas shopping. Monika continues to work on upgrading her room and is almost done. We need to hang her new shades and she wants a few more furniture items. She left her full sized bed in Michigan, so eventually she'll go pick that up and change out the twin. At that time, I'll take the twin bed to Jim's house in Rochester. Eventually everything is going to have to move there and I'm not sure how that can happen, but there's no need to worry about it for a few years. I'm enjoying the school year-- our COVID numbers are low, kids are engaged and all is well.

HoCo 2022

We got to celebrate, what felt like an almost normal homecoming week! It was great fun having Erika here to experience it all too! 

Keep it Positive!

I'll be honest, I've been trying to live with overt positivity. About 20 years ago I learned a very personal lesson about "faking it until you make it." It works and well. Within months of deciding to just get through my depression by pretending to be happy, I actually started feeling happy and it kind of surprised me how really happy I felt. This year, after a wonderful summer, I knew this school year would be challenging. We had so much freedom last year working online with classes meeting every other day and we enjoyed long periods of breaks between. Going back to work in the building with daily classes and only 5 minute passing time, while "back to normal" seems exhausting at times, but I refuse to admit it. At some point early on I decided just to take it all in stride and be happy, obnoxiously happy at times. At staff meetings we have these one word "check ins" that I think are dumb. Teachers say they are exhausted, overextended, etc. and I just come in with "happy" or "great" >> syruppy positivity that is somewhat real and kind of fake. If life is not awesome on Monday, it is by Friday.

I've been starting my mornings with Shaun T in the morning on Beachbody and boy, if I don't feel awesome before the workout, I do after. He's crazy positive and I love it. I'm down to my pre-Covid weight, so I had great success over the summer with all the swimming and yoga and eating vegetarian as much as possible. It's going to be a challenge to keep it all off but with Monika home, it should be easy to keep a vegan lifestyle. We'll see.

Grace got married!

We have had wonderful weather to start the autumn season off this past week. Today after a year delay, Grace had her wedding outside at a barn in Spring Green. It really was perfect weather and a beautiful site. She had a whole Memorial table with all the art teachers, her fellow Avid teacher and her co-bike club coach. It was so much fun to spend the evening with friends socializing. Both Jim and Monika came with me, and all my art teacher friends had their spouses/sig other with them as well, which made it even more fun. I was so happy for Grace and even got weepy during the ceremony which was so beautiful and completely absent of all religion. The reception include a lot of vegan food which made Monika very happy. While there was dancing, there was no DJ-- instead everyone wore headphones and listened to 1 of 3 choices of music. It was kind of weird but still fun. 

Today I turned 56

While I'm definitely a middle aged woman, BUT I'm not a senior citizen for another decade or so! I see myself looking older (esp my skin and added grey hair) BUT I feel good. I got all that covid-19 weight off over the summer and I'm starting the school year in a good place. I love being at work with students again!

Yesterday was Erika's first day at work as a special ed teacher. She's having a very different experience in the classroom than I normally have. She's in a science room in the morning and I think, in a study hall in the afternoon. She got to go into Grace's special art class today and she loved that! It is so fun to have her here in the building with me telling me about her day during lunch. Today I had a small party for my yearbook class outside with hot dogs and cake! The kids were excited since it was a surprise. Tomorrow Jim will take me out to eat after school and we will celebrate all weekend! 

 

Progress being made

Monika has been working on remodeling her room all week. She's going at a slower pace than I'd like but the quality is high. She's learning a new skill and Erika is hoping to capitalize on that by having Monika do the floor at her condo. I'm paying for the materials and enjoying having someone else do all the hard work (flooring is weird combo of easy and difficult). I'm hoping to have the hallway finished as well. Monika is planning on adding new window treatments and baseboards, then furniture before she starts school in October. 

The big news for this week was from Erika. She will start as a cross categorical teacher at Memorial this week. The shortage is real and she's capitalizing on getting an emergency credential and having a new degree paid for. I am very excited to see her in the hallways!

Vegan Flax Chia Muffins

1 cup raisins (or dates)
1 3/4 c boiling water
1 cup flaxseed meal
1/2 cup oatmeal
3 tablespoons chia seeds
1/2 cup almond flour
2 cups sprouted wheat flour
2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons flax seeds soaked in 6 tablespoons water (egg substitute)
1/4 cup oil of choice (I used avocado)
1/2 cup maple syrup (or agave)
2 tablespoon organic molasses
1 cup almond milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup walnuts

Instructions: place raisins in a bowl with boiling water and let stand for 5 minutes. Stir in flax meal, oats and chia and let sit for 10 minutes. Add flax seed and water, oil, syrup, milk and vanilla. Stir in flours with baking soda and powder. Add walnuts and top with organic sugar (optional). Bake at 375 for 35 minutes or until muffins are puffed and brown (depending on size). Remove from tins and cool. They taste just like regular bran muffins-- so yummy!

She's Back!

Monika moved back home this week. She's got a few weeks before she starts her classes. Initially she had planned to do some traveling but now it seems she decided to stay put and remodel her room. She's planning to paint and put in new floors. I'm happy to have someone to around to help with house work and meals. It's been been interesting how through the many years Fords have moved out and moved back in. I'm the only one who has stayed the whole time! 

My first week of school was pleasant, busy but good. I'm happy to be with students in the building. I'm counting my J&J vaccine to protect me but the reality is, I feel relatively safe. We are all in masks, I'm seldom close to students for longer than 5 to 10 minutes at a time. I'm told our ventilation is good. There are positives at school but none in my classes yet. I'm hoping for the best.

It's been a year...

A year ago today my mom passed away. It feels like it has been a longer time since her passing. In many ways I spent several years saying goodbye to her. I suppose that is the nature of a slow killing disease like cancer. It is not easy to watch someone so strong waste away. Jim and I have a small shrine in each of our homes with all four of our parents memorial cards. As I'm typing this post, I'm sitting at her dining room table at Jim's house in Minnesota. I think she would be pleased that so much of her stuff was saved and transferred over to our new home. At the end of her life, she was so confused and suffered from a lot of anxiety, asking for weird things (post it notes, flashlights, etc.). I certainly miss talking to her.

I spent the Labor Day weekend with Jim in Rochester. We went to an apple orchard, out to eat downtown at a fancy restaurant and did a few odd jobs around the house. He is very comfortable and for me it is like a vacation home. Last year was so odd and I'm looking forward to finding a new normal with work in the classroom and Monika finally back in Madison.

Obituary: Peter

Jim says we got Peter in November of 2006 between the 3rd and the 17th. He knows this because Jim was away at an army training and I brought Peter home while he was away. What I recall was having a student, Mallery Olsen, who showed me his photo on her phone (it was a small flip phone). He was about 2 years old at the time and his family had taken him in to the vet to be put down but the vet decided to hold onto him for observation. The vet, my student's mother, asked if we could take him home for observation to assess if his peeing issues continued. So I volunteered to bring him home for the two weeks while Jim was away to find out if he would use a sand box like our other cats. While he did use the sandbox most of the time, he often peed on wet towels or dirty clothes left on the floor. I thought it was a perfect way to teach the girls to pick up after themselves! We all fell in love with him, including Jim who loved to give him a spoonful of yogurt or small bowl of crème. Peter always missed Jim and would get so excited to see him return from his many trips away through the years. (I'm not sure any other cat we had missed Jim when he went away).

Peter became well known around our neighborhood by different cat names and although often wondered away from our home he always came back. He had been declawed by his previous family so was not supposed to go outside but he was happiest running across the lawn and preferred peeing on the grass. I always found it amazing that even though we lived close to a busy street and often saw foxes or coyotes around, Pete always made it home. He was taken to the animal shelter once by a neighbor but we were informed and picked him up as quick as we could. While he hunkered down indoors in the winter, I felt it too cruel to keep him cooped up inside when the weather was nice out. Eventually he became quite beloved by a neighbor who kept a bed for him in their garage.

Last winter, I noticed his health declining. He'd completely lost his hearing and often would catch colds. At 17 or 18 years old, he'd lived a full and long life for a cat. Our neighbor contacted Erika to ask about putting him down. A very special service was planned for Pete that Erika attended. He was put down on a favorite bench our neighbor used to sit with him on. Here's what Erika texted to us, "Here are the last photos of Peter. He passed away peacefully at almost exactly 3:30pm. When the vet arrived he started trying to walk away, we thought maybe he knew what was coming but then he casually peed outside on the grass a few feet away from us and turned back and walked up to his spot on their bench. We decided to do it there instead of under the tree. The vet was very kind and professional. He was surrounded by love. Michelle, her husband and father in law were there as well as another neighbor named Ali. He will be missed by many."

 

First Day of School!

539 days after what seemed liked  a normal Friday we went home to find the United States declared a national emergency due to the COVID-19. I remember Joe telling me we would not be back and I said, "no way!" Boy, was I wrong-- and kind of oblivious. The last year and a half has been so odd but what become a new normal. I keep wondering when does it all go back to "normal" and today was that day, but with some significant changes. Obviously we are all in masks. Students are taking the mask mandate seriously. I did not have one student not wearing a mask or refusing or even not wearing it correctly. While lots of teachers start the school year with a seating chart, it's not something I normally do but I have to now for contact tracing reasons. I wonder if masks become something we begin to wear regularly in American society for mitigation. They do it in Japan? It's really hard to read student's faces with masks. I can't see who's talking and I often can hear what's being said. There have been some positive changes in education and I'm eager to see how this all plays out.

 

Back to work!

I went into work on Monday but to work on the newspaper and meet with editors. While kids were working I did some emailing, prep and cleaned out my desk. I tossed out a lot of old paperwork since so much has gone all digital. I started working out with Sean T in the mornings. Between swimming, walking, yoga and new meds, I've finally lost all of my Covid weight. I weighed myself for the first time this month was pleased. The goal is to keep the weight off this school year, even if I can't lose more. 

I enjoyed Tuesday off doing yoga and watching some Netflix. Today our morning staff meeting got changed from in person in the auditorium to a zoom, but our smaller group meeting afterward stayed in person. It is going to be very interesting to see how this school year pans out. We are all crossing our fingers and hoping things will stay as normal as possible. Tomorrow we got all the safety protocols dictated. I had lunch with Patty and then more meetings and left work a bit early to go to the pool. It has been so hot and humid lately. I am so glad we work in a building with air conditioning but nothing beats cooling off with a swim! It's the best part of summer, well, that and having the extra time to swim! 

Week 10; the last week of summer vacation!

The reality is summer projects 8, 9 and 10 are all new home related and may never end. We had a long list of projects to do this week but are running out of funds to pay for them all so have begun a list of projects for next summer. Our last big purchase for this summer was patio furniture. We were hoping to hold off for bigger sales at the end of the summer but also felt we were missing out on enjoying our patio. I painted the master bedroom purple but need to bring some artwork from Madison to finish decorating it. We tore out an old raised garden bed in the backyard and laid new sod to repair the lawn. We purchased bulbs but will wait till September to plant them. We got to spend more time enjoying the home this week as the weather got more hot and humid as it progressed. I like to hang out in the living room with Balt on our new sectional or out on the patio while Jim spends his time either in his office or the basement reading. We both go for morning walk/jogs on the Douglas State trail-- I walk with Balt, Jim jogs. It certainly is very comfortable and I will always enjoy staying in Rochester with Jim from now on but next week it's back to work.

Summer Project 9 (week 9) in Rochester, Minnesota

We spent another week in our new house after going back to Madison for a couple of days to check in on pets, pick up veggies, do yoga and swim. We loaded up the truck with Jim's books, a shelf and took Balt this time! We purchased a new sectional for the living room and spent a day painting Jim's new office. He's very happy with how everything is shaping up. We made many trips to Menards and Home Depot. We finally had time to explore the Douglas State Trail which borders our property. It's a 15 mile stretch but we have only explored about 5 miles. I ended up with blisters on our first big trek to the end in Rochester. Someday I hope to make it to the other end in Douglas but most likely while on a bike rather than walking.

I'm back in Madison for the weekend again to pick up CSA veggies, swim, do yoga and clean up. Jim has an army weekend and we will meet up in Rochester for my last week of vacation!

Summer Project 8 (week 8) in Rochester, Minnesota

We bought a house! We closed on our first stand alone home on Monday. We started saving nearly 4 years ago so that Jim would no longer have to rent a place but instead contribute to a second family home. Our condo in Madison has served us well and will continue to be my main residence during the school year until I retire which won't be for a few more years. We picked up the U-box I had in storage for the past year on Tuesday and unloaded all the stuff I took from my mom's house-- all the kitchen and bedroom supplies we need, a dining room set and a ton of Longaberger baskets. We did a big Costco run, and got a lawn mower from Menards. Jim and I are having a lot of fun setting it all up and making plans for home improvements (painting, new flooring, patio, garden beds, etc) but most of it will need to wait. 

I lost my faith because of Steve Carell

To be fair Steve Carell, who I believe is a Roman Catholic, just helped me make sense of a long journey of seeing my faith slipping away. Yes, Steve Carell from The Office. I am pretty sure I have loved everything he’s done but I am especially fond of his rom-com stuff and it was a movie I saw the summer of 2012 staring Carell that brought a sudden clarity to a long-time confusion I had been feeling about my faith and all things religion. I suppose it was Carell’s character, Dodge, in Seeking a Friend for the End of the World that spoke to me deeply. The movie is about the end of life on earth as an asteroid named Matilda is on a collision course that will hit in three weeks. The plot moves quickly to a road trip in search of lost love but ends with newfound love (Keira Knightley, who can’t be helped but loved), with both in each other’s arms, assuring each other as the world ends. As asteroids crash in the background, the screen brightens to white and then fades to back. That’s it. Life is over… no one is saved.

That evening, after a fun date night, we drove home, and I wept long and deep in the car, confusing my husband. I was only a couple of years away from an empty nest. Life as I had known it had changed many times and would continue to change. The church had disappointed me repeatedly throughout my life—specifics are meaningless I think at this point. There was something about how the movie ended that made me realize that is what happens. We live, we die and that’s it. No one is saved. I lost a lot that evening and it was painful, deeply painful and so I wept for a very long time. Oddly, it was like the last straw that broke me. Interestingly, my spiritual journey had been primarily experiential while my husband’s intellectual. What I find amazing is that today we find ourselves at the same place. We took very different paths and timelines from strong theists to agnostics to atheists.

I once argued with my dad, a fundamental Christian Calvinist, that since he and I believed I was truly saved in my youth, that I could not lose my salvation. I knew he believed in the perseverance of the saints and for a long time, I was hoping for a change in my thinking. My mom told me I had been beaten down by the hypocrisy of too many Christians and excused my refusal to attend church, but she too trusted in my eternal security.  It was important to me not to disappoint my parents. I knew coming out as an atheist would grieve them. When visiting them, I would warn my kids not to take god’s name in vain, and to not watch anything unchristian like on TV. Once both of my parents had passed, I knew I was free to openly believe however I wanted without fear of familial consequence, yet their dying failed to give me any comfort.

There are Sundays I pass churches on the street and feel astonished that the parking lot is full. It informs me that my journey might be unique and certainly is not universal. After attending a yoga fest last week, I had several odd experiences. One, while walking back to the main house looking up to the sky, I started singing How Great Thou Art—an old church hymn I have not sung in years (decades). I realized many of the spiritual experiences at the festival, all very Hindu in nature, I think, were triggering my past religious experiences. It made me realize how very universal spiritualism can be. People need a deeper experience. Certainly, fading to black is not the way we want our stories to end. Ironically, I have found life is incredibly more meaningful without the trappings of an afterlife. If this life is all I have, then I want it to be as long and loving as possible.

Yoga Fest Photos

Summer Project 7 (week 7) in Northern Michigan

I drove back up to Song of the Morning Yoga Retreat Center in Northern Michigan with Erika this time to help out Monika with their big Yoga Festival at the end of the week. We are officially volunteering. Erika is teaching her first in person "live" yoga class as well as working in the gift shop while I am the official photographer for the festival. Monika is the festival coordinator and doing an amazing job with the organization of things-- the photo below is of her organizing all the volunteers this morning. The community here really loves Monika and she is remarkably gifted at putting a large event together. I have tried to be as helpful as possible but boy, my feet and back can only do so much. Erika is a light weight as well which at times has frustrated Monika who is just such a hard worker! I am very excited to be here for the week and will hopefully get a lot of participation in the yoga events as well. 

 

Summer Project 6 (week 6) in Virginia

 

As my second week in Norfolk comes to end, I am gearing up for a few busy weeks coming up. I finished up the HVAC cover project (see below) this week and did a bit of patching and painting around her fireplace. While every visit I have in Virginia is very much like a vacation since I make sure to spend time on the beach, Jessi also makes sure to give me a list of things to do around the house, which is very much a labor of love. The HVAC project kept me problem solving as I wanted to avoid using lumber since it was expensive and in short supply at Home Depot. The white vinyl was a bit too floppy so I ended up using PVC piping to prop up the back end of the box. I'm hoping it's good enough. Jessi likes it and that's what matters most. 

I drive home on Friday (7/23), spend a weekend at home catching up on swimming and doing hot yoga and then it is back to Michigan for week 7 and up to Minnesota for week 8. 

 

Summer Project 5 (week 5) in Virginia

The end of week 5 means it's half way thru my summer! I spent the week in Norfolk with Jessi. She's working everyday but I've been helping with her yard most of the week. I purchased some white plastic lattice to make a cover for HVac but it has been so hot and muggy (90's with a heat index into the 100's), I haven't wanted to start the project, opting for other minor projects on her list. I'll be here next week as well, so I have plenty of time! So far, I have walked on the beach most days, added 8 bags of mulch, weeded, added 4 black eyed susan flower bunches, replaced her ferns, trimmed around cement and blocks, added a brick decorative trim to her side area and painted a water proof masonry coating on her brick on the side of her garage as well as make her a big chicken dinner one night (she was craving potatoes). It is gratifying to work on her yard, but I have to admit to always stopping work around noon and showering for the afternoon and spending time with my feet up reading. After all, I'm still on vacation!