This morning when I woke Jessi up at 5:30 am to go to swim team conditioning, she yelled, "I can't do THIS anymore!" and refused to get out of bed. I wasn't sure what "this" was... swim team? waking up early? high school? life? I told her it was her decision to do whatever THIS was and I went back to bed. At 6am she jumped out of bed and yelled at me to take her. She grabbed her backpack, a pair of sweats and barely got to school in time. I guess she could do THIS after all. I took her to school but then came home and went back to bed. I felt like I wasn't sure I could do this either. Autumn is a favorite time of year, but I don't feel like I have time to enjoy it because my days rush by too fast. I understand wanting to get off of the ride, if that's what this is.
For me, part of what is missing in life this season is Jim. He is busy working (playing) and training as part of his army duties. As the old man in his group, he does not look out of place as I peruse through the group Facebook pics for his class, but he is as young at heart as I am and that's pretty young.
I've always felt there is a big part of me stuck in middle school. The drama/trauma left me emotionally stuck there. I often feel Jim's right there with me :). It won't be long until he's home really. I'm getting eager.
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