Easter is clearly a Christian holiday, but so Americanized it has its own isle at the store for candy and gifts. Our elaborate Easter celebrations have gone to the wayside these past two years as I have spent my Easters literally in transit. Both last year and this year, I have spent the day actually driving across America. IE: the Easter Bunny was not home. I hid candy in a basket for Erika last year, as well as this year, as she has spent these Easters home alone-- no holiday dinner made. I sent a box to Jessi and brought candy for Monika to put in a basket at my mom's house (shown here).
Monika did not even have Good Friday off. She had to ask permission to miss her calculus class. Luckily she is doing well and had never missed class before so her professor gave her his blessing to be with family for the holiday weekend. I'm not even sure if Erika will have the day off, since there are yoga class taught on Easter Sunday. I know Jessi will have the weekend off and be encouraged to attend a service among her peers.
So what happens to Easter when no one is home to stuff baskets with chocolate eggs and hallow bunnies, when no one is in need of a pretty Sunday dress or new church sandals anymore? How does one resurrect resurrection Sunday? I have been thinking about this idea of resurrection and what it means. In the Spring I resurrect myself, in many ways from a Winter slumber of laziness. While Christians all over America are going to church to celebrate Christ risen; I am driving across the interstate highway, wondering what happened to my family holiday and if my Easter will ever rise from this death. Perhaps it has passed into a new realm or is just something that is lost forever-- like childhood's sweet memories that are no longer a part of reality's present but touched looking at old photos and the telling of stories.
Life is good. There is a sweetness as a mother, knowing my children are all doing well-- young women who are able to take care of themselves. I am the mother of adults now and my roll has changed. I will have to wait for grandchildren, if they ever come, for the next transition in my life. Is that when we will fill Easter baskets again and I will have my happy holiday back? Or maybe I can resurrect the holiday to have new meaning?
What if love was lost and then found again-- could we not celebrate that miracle? If that past love is lost forever then I think this holiday may be lost as well. Eventually it will be made new again, like life after winter. The flowers may look the same but I know they are new bulbs that were planted. There is hope and maybe that is all Easter will be for a while, a hidden hope. The resurrection of that lost love would be miraculous, though. Okay, not like the risen Savior, but for me, for now, more meaningful.
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