Teri Parris Ford's Blog

California Summer Day 47

My California Summers are starting wear down as July comes to an end. Now that my mom is settled at my brother's, the construction in the house has begun and it's loud. The poor cats were very stressed out. I had 2 zoom meetings that had to outside for and Jim just went to his mom's for the day. I ran a load of stuff to Goodwill as soon as they opened. I dealt with dust, noise and questions for most of the day but I did get a nice lunch break though. After it was all over I went to see my mom who has gotten a lot weaker, so much so she is slurring her words and struggling to eat. She told me she realized that moving to my brother's was best since she is needing so much more help. It took both my brother and sister in law both to get her into bed. They don't let her sleep all morning and they are giving her healthier food so her diabetic numbers are good. My brother has her watching better tv shows too (old Alfred Hitchcock episodes instead of endless TBN preaching). She told me she is praying for god to take her away and I could only say that he certainly would. She feels no pain and other than frustration from not being able to have more control over her body, she's doing pretty good for someone who is dying. Jimmy thinks she has two weeks.

California Summer Day 46

It was a very hot day that started w an early wake up earthquake!! 4.2 at 4:30am. I ran a couple of errands in the morning -- took a load to Goodwill, picked up ice and picked up some rust release at Lowe's. I continued to go through drawers and cabinets, emptying out everything and sorting. I found a framed drawing of mine from college (the apples pictured here) that was one of my favorites. I think it was a still life assignment from my Drawing class where we had to work for an extended amount of time. I loved my drawing teacher at Santa Cruz who helped me to realize that if I spent enough time on a piece of artwork it would evolve into something I was proud of. I think he was impressed that I was often one of the few students who actually put in the full amount of time and it showed. He lived a couple houses down from where Jim and I lived and I started commuting in to class with him occasionally which afforded me a more personal relationship. He encouraged me to go to grad school to my MFA which I never did. I have thought about it a lot-- I could do it in retirement? but it's so expensive and the reality is that all I have to do is put in the time to make the art.

My mom called me this evening as I sorting dishes to pack. I plan to go visit her tomorrow.

California Summer Day 45

It was my first day at home without my mom being here - maybe the first time ever? I have no memory of ever visiting my parents home without my mom being here. She doesn't travel, so she's always home. My brother said she seemed a little sad but that everything was going smoothly.

As for me, I spent the morning cleaning out the living room. Then I did some laundry but while doing that the sink overflowed and while trying unclog it, I broke the drain. Water was all over the garage. My brother told me to just to remove the sink which I did. I also decided to paint the rail for the stairs and do a bit of gardening (clearing out plants by the faucet).  Jim went out to get us Chipotle for lunch. I ended the day completely exhausted.

California Summer Day 44

It is the end of an era, officially. Today my brother moved my mom out of her house and she will most likely never return. It was hard not to cry as I put her into my niece's VW (which used to be my mom's). I kissed her goodbye knowing I would see her soon but things were never going to be the same again. She understood what was happening and cried as I shut the door on her. She has moments of complete vacancy and those moments happen more often and for longer periods of time. It is becoming more and more difficult to talk to her. I had wanted to ask her some questions and video tape her answers last summer but put it off to this summer and realized that it was too late.

I spent the afternoon cleaning up after the move. I cleaned out the den where my mom had lived for the past few months and moved the couch back after vacuuming. Then I started going thru some drawers in the dining room and cleaning out a cabinet in the kitchen. I've got 3 weeks to sort through everything; pack what I want, sell what is valuable or donate. I have to be honest though... one of the first things I did after she left was go swimming with Balt and then both of us came inside the house dripping wet. I've never been able to do that before!. I later sent her a photo of Balt on her couch just to tease her a bit. 

California Summer Days 42 & 43

Sunday came and went without a lot going on. I started the morning with a yoga class that Erika taught online via the Yogafest Monika organized. It was very cool to see Erika work her yoga magic. I made sure to watch Monika's closing section (below) announcing all the donators (I was one) and end with chanting.

I made enchiladas for lunch and enjoyed sunshine and swimming while making sure my mom's needs were met. Early this morning my mom woke me up frozen at the front door to let the dog out. Her knees were locked and she was in extreme pain. Luckily I was able to get the wheel chair out and push her in it back to bed. Her decline since the fall has been quite steady. I called Palliative care to make a nurse came by to evaluate her. She got a visit around 3pm and after looking my mom over and checking out the stairs claimed it was a miracle my mom was not hurt more then the few bruises she got. I agreed. My brother came by around 5pm to let her know she'd be moving in with him tomorrow. My job is to pack all her stuff and then once she's gone to clean out the house. I'm very glad Erika and Monika will be here next week to help.

California Summer Day 41

Last night my mom fell after I'd gone to bed. She's fine, I think... but she smashed her watch.  For some reason she went up the stairs to talk to me. She fell from the top of the stairs. I asked her why she didn't yell for me and she said she thought I was asleep which just doesn't make any sense at all! I yelled at her and wanted to call 911 but she begged me not to and claimed she was fine. I got her up slowly and she was able to walk to bed, so I assume nothing is actually broken. I told her I had no idea how she could fall the full flight of stairs (I know she made it to the top because her cane was at the top and I heard it fall first then her body bounce down, then her moaning at the end) and not break any bones. She said it was because God is taking care of her! He certainly has kept her alive much longer than anyone expected.

I spent the day making sure my mom was okay. I had a long conversation with brother about her future living situation since the stairs in her house are an obvious health hazard. I talked with Erika and started cleaning out a closet. I went thru a bunch of my mom's yearbooks. I listened to some of Monika's Yogafest on Youtube. I went for a swim. Jim and I went to get lunch but I wanted In N Out while Jim wanted Del Taco so we went through the drive thru of both! I showed Jim how to make a Bitmoji Avatar which was fun. 

 

 

California Summer Day 40

Today was a good day, mild weather made it especially pleasant. I went for a 3 mile walk this morning without Balt. The last time I took him for a long walk he was sore for days and seemed to be in too much pain so I decided to go without him this morning. I will need to do that more often. I helped my mom take a shower and get ready for the day. She seemed to have more energy. She had a nurse come by late in the day and tell her she seemed much improved which I could tell made her feel good. I worked on school stuff. I've been creating a Google Site for school, as I learn how to use the tools since I'll be teaching kids how to in the Fall. I've been working on my Adv. Google Certification class as well. At least I have something that makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something. I know just being with my mom should be enough. Oh! and Monika's Yogafest youtube event is all weekend!

California Summer Day 39

Jim mentioned missing being home and that got me thinking, yeah it is nice to be in your own place. As much as being with my mom has all the comforts of being home, it's not. The weather is way better here and I have a pool in the backyard, so I'm not too eager to leave. I had an early meeting with some art peeps and it got me thinking about how we only have 4 weeks of summer left. I'm still not quite sure when I'll drive back. Jim may leave soon than me. 

My mom had physical therapy today which I had to wake her for. She seemed totally exhausted from it. I can tell her walking is getting harder, even standing seems more difficult. I mentioned starting to use the wheel chair and she agreed it might be needed soon. She's not eating a lot either but she's not in any pain, so there are no complaints. I spent a lot of my day working on school stuff. I got a good swim in and a yoga class. When I close all 3 of my apple watch activity circles (move, exercise and stand) I know I did good. Jim and I had leftovers for lunch today and always refrain from dinner these days. 

California Summer Day 38 & 39

The Summer days start to blur a bit and it's hard to remember what happened. Last night instead of posting a blog I watched Expecting Amy on HBO. My brother worked from my mom's house yesterday and then came by today with his family to prep for a camping trip and meet up with a contractor and realtor about a big crack in my mom's house. The good news was that it is most likely cosmetic but we'll need to drill a hole in the foundation to make sure. We discussed with the realtor what all needed to happen before being able to sell the house. I have a feeling this will be my last California Summer, although I can't imagine not visiting the Pacific Ocean annually. With Jessi living on the Atlantic, I may need to get friendlier with the east coast.

Jim wanted Mexican for lunch today but I will not eat a restaurant yet. We got it all to go and it was as delicious as eating it there I'm sure. Other than getting unlimited refills on chips and diet coke, we didn't miss out on much. I know Jim likes the ambience of a Mexican restaurant but it's certainly not worth risking your life for. 

I took Balt in to get his nails done (cut) at a local vet/pet store with good ratings. I won't risk getting my nails done though. I got a swim in before my lunch and an early walk this morning.

California Summer Days 36 & 37

I didn't do much yesterday. I let the fact that it was Sunday keep me feeling lazy. I did work on my Google Certification coursework since I had neglected any school work all week while at the beach. Today my mom had a physical therapy for the first time in a while since the pandemic put a hold on things in the spring. It exhausted her. I have noticed she is starting to experience confusion more often. There are times she seems lost. Everything she does is so slow, I find myself having to work on my patience more often.

I made sure to get a good swim in today. Because Balt is not wanting to walk up the hill in the morning, I am not getting the work out I'm used to and with Jim here, I'm eating more than I should. I usually lose weight while I visit my mom, but not this summer. Everything about this year is just so off!

California Summer Day 35

It's Saturday! I could not figure out why my alarm didn't go off this morning and I slept in until after 6am. Jim and I walked to Starbucks for breakfast and contemplated the wisdom in eating outside in their patio area with other people. Everything I read seems to indicate that the risk is in indoor settings, not outside, but who's to know. Going to the grocery store has been the riskiest activity I do too often. I ran out to the grocery store today to get my mom a watermelon. She had a nurse visit this afternoon to take her vitals and check in on her. She continues to get more and more frustrated with her weakening leg strength making it difficult to walk and frequent bouts of complete confusion. I feel for her.

I chatted with Monika while treading water in the pool this afternoon. I've included a photo of Jessi landing her helicopter on a small destroyer, Erika practicing yoga in my living room and Monika out in her garden.

California Summer Day 34

Well, it was back to being at my mom's, walking Balt in the neighborhood, getting a swim in and trying to get a bit of work done around the house. I had a nice long chat with Jessi this morning who facetimed me. I got an email from work that we will start school virtual, as will most school districts in CA.  I cleaned a few cabinets out in the garage today. I made enchiladas for lunch and ate with Jim. I drove my brother home since he had stayed the week to be with my mom and checked out the work he's been doing finishing his basement. It was a very non-eventful day, and hot.

 

California Summer Day 33

3 nights and 4 days camping at the beach was everything I wanted it to be. I really enjoyed my time with Jim, just sitting while he read or playing with Balt while he made a fire. I did not take my computer and did not do any work other than wash dishes once a day. We had lots of time to sit and talk, think, walk, relax and just enjoy the ocean. There is something so incredibly therapeutic about looking at and listening to the waves roll in and out. We saw seals and dolphins and Jim made a bird friend who kept coming back for more bread Jim tossed at him every so often. We left this morning and came back to the heat of dessert at my mom's. I spent most of the day cleaning up. My cousin came by to visit late in the afternoon with her daughter and I took her swimming and made her dinner. It was a pleasant day.

California Summer Day 32: Perfection

This time Jim and I have at the beach has been utter perfection.

California Summer Day 31: Emma Wood

We had a high temp of 69- sunny but kind of cool. We made a morning fire and enjoyed coffee out in the gloomy clouds before they burnt off by 10 am. I walked over to the group sites hoping to get a shower in but the water was turned off since the group sites are closed which was bummer but the rest of the day was perfect. 

California Summer Day 30: beach

My brother took a couple days off so I could go to the beach. It’s just me, Jim and Balt. 

California Summer Day 29

It was another hot one! but not quite as hot as yesterday's 105-- only 102. It's a dry heat, so it's actually not awful. Swimming certainly makes the heat more enjoyable. Jim and I enjoyed an early morning coffee session and I took Balt for a walk before 6am. In the morning it is very pleasant. I made my mom breakfast potatoes for a Sunday treat with scrambled eggs (she has 2 every morning with cheese). Then I ventured out to Costco and the pet store while Jim went for a long hike. I came home to swim. While I was swimming my mom fell. She's fallen several times this week and it is really confusing for her as she's just not sure why. I think she's just losing her strength. I'm afraid of what happens once she can't walk. It will certainly change the dynamic of how we care for her.  In the evening, my mom complained about the heat and asked me to make it colder. I told her all we needed to do was turn on the air conditioner and she agreed. She needed my help to turn it on as it's probably been at least 5 years since she'd used it... maybe 10!? I set the temp for 72, at the time is was 90. When I told my brother, my mom had turned on the air conditioner, he thought she's lost her mind. It certainly was a first.

California Summer Day 28: HOT

At one point it was 105, but I was in the pool and the water is about 80, so it was good. The hardest part of the heat is bedtime as it is hot and there is no air,conditioner at my mom's. She just doesn't believe it in. I've seen her put it it on twice in my lifetime both times when we had company. Growing up, my dad had a room air conditioner for him to be able to sleep in the summer. If I complained about the heat, she would tell me to jump in the pool, pj's and all. I did it many summer nights. Now I just take a cold shower because of chlorine is bad for my hair. 

Other than swimming, I did a little prep for my camping trip and organized a closet so my mom's wheel chair would fit inside it. It meant taking out two vacuum cleaners to the garage. When I asked why she kept the extra vacuums (she has 3 Dyson's and 2 other brands), she just says I like vacuum cleaners. I'm not sure why my mom never has one of anything.

California Summer Day 27: the Visit

Sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind. My cousin asked to bring her mom and dad over for a visit. We've all been so careful not to socialize, but it's been so long and who knows how much longer this will go on. They came late in the morning after my mom's appointment with a home health nurse. They came prepared to wear masks and gloves and stay outside but it was over 90, hot and sunny and my mom was weak. I told them to come in for a visit. It may be the last one that happens for a long time, maybe ever. I had the ceiling fan on and opened a window hoping it would help with ventilation. The visit was short as my mom was really tired and needed to eat lunch, but it was really nice to see family. I made sure to get a swim in before I had lunch and enjoyed some time with my feet up in the late afternoon. My brother came over with his family to pick up some stuff and to hook up a couple of new batteries I purchased for the trailer. This weekend is all about getting ready for camping next week! 

California Summer Day 26

We had another gorgeous day. I ran into Costco for a few things and then made my mom's dog homemade dogfood. He's pretty finicky about his food and my mom was spending a lot of money on fancy dog food. It seemed instead of spending $2-3 a day on Rachel Ray's recipe, I could make it for less with real ground meat, brown rice and veggies. My brother feeds his dogs real food and apparently it helped with their digestion a lot. I'm wondering if I should do the same for Balt, esp as he gets older and is suffering from arthritis. I had to run out to the pharmacy to get my mom her pills and when I got back my brother was visiting. We went over to the trailer to go over stuff that needed to be prepped, so I could go camping next week. He's going to take over for me, which I'm really glad for. I planned next week's trip a year ago right after going with my cousin last summer. Who would have thought life would be so crazy (pandemic with beach closures). 

California Summer Day 25

We had a bit of a reprieve from the heat today (only in the high 80's) but the heat will return this weekend. Jim and I walked to Starbucks for breakfast. He left to walk to his mom's house (about a 10 mile walk) and helped my mom get ready for an appointment with a palliative care nurse. She came to house after noon and interviewed both of us for needs my mom might have as her health is in decline. She had access to a nurse 24/7, I believe who she can call for advise and will come to the house when needed. For now they will come twice a week to check on my mom's vitals and monitor her health. She also can have someone come to the house to help her bathe, which is not necessary now, but I know will come in handy in the future. We filled out all the paperwork and got a phone consultation with a new doctor who changed up my mom's diabetes regime that I think will be helpful. She told my mom to eat more carbs! So I went out and got her some wheat bread for toast in the morning and brown rice for dinner. 

I had to go pick up Jim from his mom's and we ordered pizza for a late lunch (my mom had steak and broccoli). I went for a late swim and enjoyed a relaxing evening.

California Summer Day 24

I had an early zoom session for the Google class I'm taking and then seemed to be set up for working online on my photo curriculum. My principal gave me hours to do the work and I was in the mood. Jim and I went to Stater Brother's for a quick grocery run and then we made nachos for lunch. I got a swim in and went back to work. Working on slide shows is a huge time suck. I didn't get tons done, but for some reason it's gratifying. I'm using lots of bitmoji pics which is fun. 

I'm not walking Balt as much I used to. He won't climb the hill anymore, so we just walk around the flat part of the block. He wants to go swimming in the afternoons which is not good for his skin but I let him in every so often and then rinse him off (which he isn't a fan of). 

California Summer Day 23: Bad News

My mom got a call from her doctor today to go get a blood test. My brother had just taken her to get an MRI, CAT scan and several blood tests last week, so he was concerned about the doctor asking for more. It certainly made for a busier morning since we had to be screened before entering and the clinic was across town. We came home after and enjoyed lunch and I went swimming. I started working on some curriculum with my wet suit on and when I got hot, would just get wet again. Jim spent the day at his mom's place. This evening my mom's doctor called to give her results-- while he started with good news; her lung cancer was stable. The bad news came next-- her brain cancer has spread significantly. He felt her treatment was no longer working. He seemed to feel we had exhausted treatment and it was time to switch gears from cancer treatment to palliative care, which made my mom initially angry. Throughout this saga, on our 5th year already, my mom has been a miraculous testament of positive attitudes and beating the odds. We've known that the road she's been traveling on would begin to wind down and eventually end. I called Erika and then my brother. What's next? She's getting a lot weaker and walking is becoming difficult. I talked her into using a walker today, instead of a cane and we used a wheel chair for a clinic visit. I know it's hard for her because I think she sees it as "giving up" but there is only so long one can fight this fight.

California Summer Day 22

It was supposed to get up to 100 degrees today, but I'm not sure it actually did. Jim and I took a walk around noon when it was well over 90. I probably got a bit too much sun but it was good to get a long walk in. I came home and jumped into the pool and then made lunch all wet. I watched Eurovision Song Contest on Netflex while Jim had work to do. He has a summer school class starting tomorrow.

California Summer Day 21: Happy 4th Pie!

The holiday weekend has been uneventful but I did a bit of cooking to make it a little special. I went grocery shopping yesterday to make sure I had everything I needed for a good meal and dessert. I asked Jim if he wanted my traditional "flag cookie" or a pie. He went for pie. I decided on Banana Creme. I made a sugar cookie crust instead of the normal pie crust and decorated it with strawberries and blueberries to make it look festive. It certainly was delicious! 

Filling Recipe: 1 3/4 cup whole milk
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup organic sugar
pinch of salt
4 egg yolks
1/4 cup cornstarch
2 tsp real vanilla
2 Tbsp butter
3- 4 bananas

Combine the milk, cream, sugar, and salt in a saucepan over medium heat. Whisk then simmer. Whisk the egg yolks and cornstarch until thick and smooth, then slowly add in 1 cup of the milk mixture into the egg yolk mixture. Then slowly whisk the egg yolk mixture into the saucepan. While continuously whisking, cook about 1 minute until it bubbles up. Add the vanilla extract and butter, mixing well. Pour over pie crust* layered with banana slices. Top with fruit and whipped creme. *I used a sugar cookie recipe for the pie crust, but had to reshape crust half way thru cooking time. 

My brother and his wife and youngest daughter came by in the evening to watch neighborhood fireworks. Los Angeles banned large public displays, so lots of fireworks were all over our valley.

California Summer Day 19

It was my last day of Professional Development and my meetings were late, so I could sleep in and enjoy some time walking Balt and drinking coffee with Jim this morning. I got my swim in early and then showered (outside) before getting dressed for my meeting. It felt like a long day and to make it a bit more complicated my mom was not feeling well, so I was having to juggle things a bit but I made it through and now can get back to just doing summer again. I was putting some stuff away and found a stack of photos of my dad's from when he was in the army. I took photos of them all this evening and made a google photo album for family.

California Summer Day 18

Can you believe it's July? I had Professional Development this morning. My mom didn't get up until late, so after my meetings were over. I made her breakfast and then went for a swim. Jim and I had lunch together and then spent the rest of the day kicking back. I had some work to do "asynchronously" and then finished the 6th Harry Potter movie. I've been watching them on HBO all week and really enjoying them. It's been a while since I've seem them, and I don't recall every watching them all one after another. There is a lot of little things I'm catching.They are certainly quite well done.