I have had several friends ask about my mom's funeral. I think that most assume we are not having a funeral because of the pandemic, which quite honestly is the responsible thing to do. But right now there is nothing more pressing in my mind then wanting to connect with those I love to grieve over my mom's passing. Jim's mother passed a couple of weeks ago and his family also chose not to do a funeral but Jim was able to go to Eternal Valley and see his mother's casket lowered (photo here of Lena's grave site).
Last summer I worked with my mom on making sure her end of life experience was everything she wanted it to be. I did all the leg work and made arrangements. I had a girlfriend who had recently lost her mother to cancer who helped me with options and gave recommendations. My mom had had the stress of dealing with her mother's and husband's funeral. She hated the idea that someone else would need to "deal" with hers. She wanted her end of life to be something that no one had to labor over or deal with the expenses for. She told me I could hold a celebration at her home after her death but she insisted that I not get it catered or spend a lot of money for it. I promised her it would be a potluck! She liked that. Well, of course that whole potluck idea can't happen until after the pandemic and according to Dr. Fauci most likely won't be able to be planned for a couple of years. And even then, I'm not sure where we can do it now that her house is being sold. So it's all just up in the air for now.
We pre-arranged my mom's cremation last year. She loved the idea that her ashes would be used in a useful, artist way somehow. I told her about a friend of mine who takes ashes and rolls them into a clay body and makes ceramic artwork. She wanted her ashed to be turned into vases that would hold flowers. I plan to commission an artist to make 4 of them, one for me and each of my daughters. She asked me to make sure to use blue, green and some yellow glazes. We talked at length about how she wanted the vases to look like and how they would be used and kept and cherished. I don't think she liked the idea of being scattered to the wind or buried. I look forward to the day when I can put flowers into a vase that holds some of her essence, and look on it's natural beauty and remember her fondly.
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