Teri Parris Ford's Blog

Happy Thanksgiving

The year Jim and I got married (1988) we started celebrating Thanksgiving a part from extended family. As educators, November is just a busy time and we always needed the break to catch up and traveling made it complicated. Every year circumstances change but staying home is always the most relaxing way to do Thanksgiving. Erika had a lot of homework as she's working on her masters and was glad we were not traveling this year. As much as I love visiting Jessi, she prefered to make the trip to Madison this year.

Jim and I were talking about the days from our youth, and how that seemed like a different life. It does seem so weird to think about going to my grandma's house for holidays and thinking that memories I have of my grandma are of her being about my age now. I'm not sure I'll ever get to be a grandma, but I know that will change life again big time. There are clear stages that I can see now in hindsight; childhood, young adulthood, parenthood with young children, parenthood with teens and young adults. This "empty nest" stage I'm in now is complicated with having two homes, in two states, so there is a lot of back and forth for Jim and I, but in general it a very simplified life, compared to past stages. There is a lot of freedom. I shared with a friend getting close to 50, I definitely have felt that the 50's have been the best times of my life. 

We went around the thanksgiving table to share what each of us were thankful for. It was a funny practice for us because we used to force the girls to do this in the past and now they were leading it. Good health,life, homes, and jobs were all mentioned. We are quite the blessed bunch.

Failure

I set out to write every day in the month of November but I failed after 2 weeks. Life got busy and felt too mundane to write about and then I got sick with a cold (not COVID). November always gets busy at school as basketball season starts, kids move all activities indoors, parent teacher conferences hit, and yearbook deadlines loom. I was a bit surprised how adding department chair duties added to the stress with extra meetings and the need to keep things organized. I have prioritized swimming at lunch on Tuesdays and Thursday but got really lax on exercise for the rest of the week. I've given up hot yoga to save funds and Balt no longer will walk in the morning or afterschool with me.

I left work this evening connecting with Joe and feeling so thankful for friendships I have. I feel supported and connected. I love team teaching with Erika. Knowing I can leave at the end of the year if I want without any negative repercussion offers a lot of freedom. I headed out for my thanksgiving holiday feeling so thankful for the special people in my life, my healthy children, and my comfortable homes.

Winter is Coming...

We had significant temperature drops this weekend. Jim and I walked to Starbucks for coffee and boy, was it cold (27). I pulled out my fleece crazy quilt for my bed which is a lot more cozy to sleep with. We made big fires in the morning and in the late afternoon/evening-- it's fire season. Balt still likes to go out in the cold but the cats not as much. Lewy always seems kind of upset, like he wants to go out in nice weather but that's not what I'm giving him. I spent some time cleaning, some time prepping stuff for a holiday sale and a bunch of time watching House of the Dragon on HBO. Monika made soup for dinner and we had a grand evening.

More Celebrations

I have taught my children to celebrate themselves, not for one day but always more! I'm always happy to see my girls taking several days to celebrate their birthdays. I try to take a week to a month to celebrate my birthday now. Jim came down for the weekend to take Erika out for Mexican. We went to a place we had not been for at least 5 years. We had a great meal together. Jim and I went home to enjoy some tv and treats. Monika got home from work and we made a big fire and watched 2 episodes of the new Emily Blunt show (The English). It is always fun having Jim visit but it is a bit more comfortable at his place. 

Erika's Day

We both had to work and she had a bunch of meetings but we still managed to make time to go out to lunch. We popped into the AT&T store first to have them switch over her phone. I got the new 14 pro for my birthday so I gave her my 12 to replace her old 10. I get a new phone about every other year and then pass on my old phone to one of the kids or Jim typically. Monika and Jessika have given up waiting for me and now just get the phones they want when they want them. I recall giving my original iPhone to Monika when she was in middle school. It was her first phone and her friends were all pretty impressed she had an iphone even if it was kind of old at the time. 

Monika had to work, and Erika had errands to run after work so we waited a until after 6pm to meet up at Nitty Gritty for a birthday celebration dinner. Erika's boyfriend paid and it was lots of fun. I have to admit, I so very much enjoy spending time with Erika even after working with her during the day. Monika often has to tell us to stop talking about work though. While at dinner Monika read us an email offering her a job. She has been on the job market since summer but very picky about applying, wanting a specific field and culture. We are hoping her new adventure will be a good one.

Warm Weather Ends Today

It was so warm today-- over 70, I was sweating at work. Our classroom had the heat on but because it was so warm outside, it just felt like a sauna. This evening a cold front is coming in and we should drop to 30 degrees tomorrow. I think our mild weather might be done for the year but with global warming, who knows? Last winter was not so snowy or all that cold, so perhaps that is how it will be from now on? We had a fire drill during 3rd hour and it was glorious outside. Joe had the garage door open and sent his kids out to take photos. I left for lunch after a swim, to get a burrito and enjoyed the mild weather-- humid, breezy and so comfortable.  I love swimming at lunch on Tuesdays and Thursday. I always think about Jessi when I swim. I miss the days of waiting for her practice to be done or watching her compete in the pool. 

 

Jessi's Day

Jessi turned 28 today. I called her but she didn't pick up. She mentioned being busy on her birthday with a flight and Navy duties. I am really looking forward to hopefully seeing her on Thanksgiving. Plans are still up in the air. We originally planned to see her in Virginia but she said she preferred coming to us after all. Plans may change again, we'll see.

I'm half way thru a busy week. I left work after 5pm and the weather was just amazing. It made me wish I had more time to spend outside. I've worked thru lunch today in order to chip away at the long list of things I need to do. I had an afterschool meeting and then chipped away at more work. I've been getting into work early as well. Just so I can get to a place where I feel like I've got it all under control within the work day without a lot of extra time. It's funny how the load ebbs and flows. 

On the bright side, other than great weather, that big red wave that was supposed to happen yesterday did not materialize and the bad news I was dredging this morning was not so bad afterall. Beto lost in Texas and Barnes lost here in Wisconsin-- those were my biggest disappointments

Election Day

I left the house early this morning to get to the polls as it opened. There was a long line but once the polls opened up the line went quickly. I voted straight Democratic without hesitation.The older I get, the more; liberal I feel. Liberal, as in libertarian, really. Watching election results is difficult. Everything is so tight and I'm pretty sure I won't get any final results before I go to bed. It will be hard to take a "big red wave" especially with a but of maga republicans. I understand normal conservatives, it's the trump-types I totally don't get. It is the election deniers that has me fearful for our democracy and it's survival. Having lived in Wisconsin for over 30 years now, I've learned how the republicans here have twisted the balance in their favor thru gerrymandering. It's just so unfair.

Other than vote, all I did was work and I worked late. I am feeling like I have a ton of work to do this week so I decided I would eat at school this week and keep working thru my prep time as well stay late in order to catch up. I should be caught up by the end of the week.

 

Birthday week ahead!

Balt's birthday really kicks of the birthday week; Balt's on the 5th (along with my nephew), Jessi's on the 9th, Erika's on the 11th (Veterans Day) and then Joe's on the 12th. Back when the girls were in school, working and/or doing sports, busy with friends, it all made for a crazy week. I was thinking about how much I used to accomplish back then (10 years ago) in any given day, with all the picking up and errands on top of school work and general clean up. Now I can't seem to get anything other than work done on most days and just that is exhausting most days. My work day seems to go so quickly and I never get enough done. Birthday week is when life starts to get busier for the holidays and with work as well BUT now things are so different. The girls are all on their own, pretty much. I certainly don't do any picking up or dropping off anymore. Balt no longer needs walks in the morning or afternoons, although I still should be walking. Life is so much easier and yet I seem to have less energy?

Breakfast with Monika

Monika has been living with me for well over a year now. I enjoy having her home. She's a great cook but not so great at cleaning up. I see it as my payment for having a personal vegan chef and it's not a bad set up. She cooks, I clean and I don't mind. We rarely go out to eat but this morning we went downtown to a hot pancake place with a long line. It was good but not that much better than Hyvee's breakfast in Rochester with Jim... but Hyvee doesn't offer a vegan option and this hot spot does. 

For the past few years, I have enjoyed living with Erika and then Monika at different times, allowing each of them time to save money, go to school, work without bills. Monika is on the job market and looking for something locally, hoping to spend her first year working and living at home to save up for her first home. It's a great plan and I'm eager to see how it pans out.

Erika spent the night last week and Monika said that if she moved back home, we'd go crazy. Luckily there's no need to have more than one kid home at a time. I think back to the times when all three of them lived at home as teenagers and it's amazing we all survived.

Living for the Weekend

The work weeks are busy but go by quickly. Friday is everyone's favorite day at school, although Mondays aren't bad only because they are always short. But the reality is I love Saturdays and Sundays best. I'm so eager for the weekend with "nothing to do", especially after a couple of busy travel weekends. I had nothing but cleaning to do this weekend; change bedding, vacuum, laundry, clean out the fridge, pick up veggies, and grocery shop. I wanted to clean the basement and garage, but I just didn't have it in me. I did a little bit of this and that but not the overhaul I planned. I ended up making more soap, a sugar scrub and body oil. I'm hoping to sell some at the art sale as well as give some away for xmas. I made a big fire, watched the news and a movie, made roasted roots for dinner and just enjoyed a relaxing Saturday. Every since we stopped going to church, Sundays became wonderful. They are a day that is totally stress free now, a total gift.

Vote like it's 2022

Because I am married to a historian, I am often told about the similarities to what is happening in our country today with things that happened in the past to other countries that turned to fascism-- especially Nazi Germany, since Germany was Jim's country of expertise (we lived there for him to do his research in 1991). I see the crazy things that are happening in our economy, elections, in our culture and our courts and wonder how we will survive all this as a country. While I am not a historian, I know we have survived worse in our past and I have hope, but what is happening now feels scary.

I am a bit relieved that my dad is not around for all these culture arguments. I once had a pretty heated argument about gender and bathroom use with him that had me yell at him angrily for the first time in my life. It was so unsettling and I know we would be arguing over a lot of current issues if he were around. I felt like he was so backward and old fashioned. I know that his mindset sees things not as backward but as "traditional" and I often feel "ol' fashioned" in educational settings-- especially when it comes to discipline. A teacher once told me we needed to round up the kids the kids in the hall and take them to gym for disciplinary action, "like we used to!" While I was thinking, "yeah!!" I knew it was not the answer-- we've evolved since then.

Anyway, I posted the above image in my Facebook banner because I've been thinking a lot about the way things are different and yet the same. Sure, we've "evolved" as a society and things are better in general (certain more comfortable) and yet it seems women are still fighting for their rights, fascism is still around and economic inequality is as bad as it ever was 100 years ago. In my own thinking I've really changed and grown in the way I vote. I used to be a one issue voter-- pro-life all the way. Although I feel pro-life, I am actually now pro-science. I have educated myself to understand that an abortion is not murder but a medical procedure many women need who have had miscarriages or are in life endangering situations. Women and doctors need to be able to make those medical decisions. I think eventually science will be able to fix the problem of unwanted pregnancy in the future without the need to dispose of a healthy fetus (maybe I've watched too many science fiction shows but it seems so probable to me).  I am no longer a one issue voter. It's hard not to get emotional when voting. I think anyone who is running for office and does not hold to democratic outcomes should be disqualified and it's crazy to me to see SO many people running who claim elections are rigged and yet are still running. What in the world!!? 

My furry faced son

Balt turns 12 on Saturday. He's still adorable but has become a bit more annoying. He has a pretty short notice on when he has to poop so if you don't attend to his bark pretty quick, there is a mess to clean up. When I'm JIm's house (where there's carpet), I am very attentive and I take him for more walks. Luckily, during the work days in Madison, Monika is around to let him out but that doesn't mean we don't see accidents. He's no longer allowed in bed with me. It only took waking up to poop in my bed twice to ban him. He no longer can climb the hard wood stairs without help and he's fallen down the stairs several times. Because of his arthritis, he often loses his footing, especially on hardwood floors. He often barks for dinner right after eating dinner. I wonder if he's just forgotten he ate. He still wakes me up every morning by 5am for breakfast and then sits outside to enjoy the morning, even if it is dark outside. I often wonder what life will be like when he's gone... I'll miss him so much, but I'm looking forward to sleeping in someday.

It's a Gift

I've been team teaching an art class for disabled students with Erika this semester. It is the first time I am working with so many disabled students in one class. I usually only have one or two in an art class at the most. I once taught a class that had nearly half of my students with IEP's (write ups for disabilities) and I was given a special ed teacher for the hour for support but most of the kids in that class had behavior issues, not developmental issues. Currently, I have 4 students in wheelchairs that have very little mobility. Many students are non verbal or are difficult for me to understand. A couple are deaf and I have a hard time understanding them. I should learn sign language. I have a couple of students who are Spanish speaker and it is great fun to hear Erika learning Spanish to speak to them. My mom would be so proud of her. The class is not easy, but it warms my heart every day to see Erika at work and watch her deal with issues that come up. She is kind and easy going, hugs kids comfortably and is constantly smiling. When I got my teacher's license I avoided getting a special certification to work with special needs children because I was so uncomfortable around them. I am not a huggy teacher, so when kids approach me for a hug, I am reluctant but I am learning many of these kids will not be turned away easily and I'm glad. 

\

Halloween Fun

The month of October was an amazing month of grand weather and good times for me. Jim and the girls have had bits of drama in their lives for various reasons, that I have tried to stay out of for the most part. No one wants a bud-in-ski, just someone who listens. I made several trips to Rochester to visit Jim this month, more than usual but with the weather as amazing as it's been, often better up north than in Madison, it's been worth every trip. This past weekend I made my way up to escort Jim to a halloween work party that is an annual event. I got to remeet quite a few of his colleagues, which was nice. On Halloween, Monday, I pulled out the Frida Kahlo outfit I made ages ago. It will be my last time wearing it at school most likely, since I try not to wear it more than every 4 years. Monika had a work party, Jessi is home partying with her friends and Erika went to a party but I didn't get a photo!