Teri Parris Ford's Blog

I made it happen

It didn't quite turn out exactly as I had envisioned, but I made it happen and that's something. I gave my final to my "Mass Media" class today and said goodbye to the first group of kids to ever take the class. We watched the final projects (which were videos) together and then I had paperwork for the kids to fill out. I asked them what they learned, how to make the class better, and to evaluate their projects. I didn't read anything surprising. I knew which projects were weak, which ones were strong. I always feel  I give too much time for projects, which enables procrastination and socializing but I got a lot of comments about wanting more time to work on projects-- I think that was the only thing I read that amazed me.

After finals a few teachers went out to lunch to a fancy Italian restaurant. It was fun, but I ate too much and promised myself I would not have dinner. I didn't. I went back to work for a meeting. Picked up Monika from tutoring, Balt from daycare and Jessi from basketball. Made the girls pasta and went to yoga.

I went to a yin class that was just what I needed. I felt like every joint was opened. As I bent over in frog, which I find extremely painful, the teacher reminded me that stress and built up emotions are held in the hip (and jaw). Working out the pain of opening the hips helps to relieve the stress. There's a lot of stress in my home-- the bickering of 3 daughters, the tons of homework and housework, the lack of a second parent Monday through Friday, the loads of laundry, the menagerie of animals, etc. -- all make for a life that isn't very quiet. Still we all make due and I seem to make sure everyone is happy. Erika swings by when she needs food and clean clothes, Jessi amazingly juggles 3 varsity sports into her school year and Monika seems to have time for her myriad of interests. Still, I look forward to the time when opening up the hips are not so painful.

Here are a few of the videos made in my class:

Winners and losers...

Today was a calm Friday. I have lots of students busy at work in all of my classes. Jessi had a game tonight against a team with a worse record than her team. One team was going to break a losing streak and I'm really glad it was Jessi's team. She started and played strong throughout. 

On my way to the game I popped into the photolab to pick up a camera to shoot Jessi's game with. My camera is having shutter problems. I found that the door was unlocked, even though I was sure I locked it when I left at 4pm. I also found 2 cameras (of the 3 I have for student usage) were gone. It's hard not to go right into freak out mode. Memorial is not a place where you can leave valuables out safely. Alot of stuff gets taken there... BUT a lot of students (and maybe another art teacher) feel they have access to those cameras and would feel comfortable borrowing them. I  may need to wait till Tuesday to know for sure one way or another.

In the hole...

I missed yoga today. I'm hoping to catch up by doing 2 classes on Saturday or Sunday. Last night's naseua seemed to linger today and my legs were aching more than ever. I never thought yoga could give me shin splints but hot yoga's standing series has 3 minute long shifting poses that involve bended knees (awkard pose) and 4 shifting weight from one foot  to another (eagle, standing head to knee, stand bow, and balancing stick). The long periods standing on one foot, really strengthen the legs but and cause or aggravate shin pain. I managed 9 days in a row. I am hoping I can do another 9 days after today.

I volunteered to drive down to Janesville with another BB mom tonight. I got Balt's walk in (rather than going to yoga) and then made dinner for Monika and I-- left over soup. We got to Craig HS just as the game started. The girls seemed to be playing better, but still lost badly. Jessi played quite a bit and even scored. I was glad I went afterall.

Back to work drama...

There was an orange goo with a strange smell waiting on the file cabinet in front of the mini fridge for Melissa and Josh in their office after our long break. I was glad I didn't share my fridge with them but as I type, I realize I am not sure what is inside my fridge! Geof left some cheese and butter in there before break-- it may still be there? At least I knew our office did not smell. I had left Joe and the photo-lab to venture over to Mel's class to catch up. Josh popped in too and then banter begun. Neither would fess up to the mess in the fridge. It was hilarious to listen to. We all finally went in to open the fridge only to find Josh's lunch-- Thanksgiving left overs to be the culprit. So gross. Dead mice and rotten food, oh, how I love the department drama we have sometimes. 

Aside from the orange goo excitement, the day was non-eventful. I spent time in each class making sure everyone was up to speed understanding what was expected for the next 10 days we had left in the semester. It's going to go by quickly. It was a backyard/PCT day, so the hours flew by quickly. The girls came home early while I met with a few teachers and an administrator to talk about facebook. Our school official facebook page is up and ready to be promoted. I came home to an eager Balt ready for a walk. After half an hour he was not ready to come home, so I spent some time chasing him around. I made the mistake of eating dinner with the girls after Jessi's BB practice. When I went to hot yoga an hour later, I felt nauseous. It was the most difficult class to finish I think I'd been in. Bikram suggests eating 4 hours before a class. Yoga on a full stomach is NEVER good. 

No Excuses

Balt let me sleep in this morning until about 8am. It was nice to get a bit of extra sleep on Saturday. It was a pretty relaxing day for a Saturday. I was tempted to go to an easy yoga class today since I had been going all week to some pretty hot classes BUT I didn't skip out on hot yoga today. I did skip out a bit early though because of Jessi's basketball game. Hot yoga classes are 90 minutes long. One needs to get to class at least 5 minutes early, up to 15 minutes early for popular classes. Getting in early is nice to ensure a good space and to acclimate to the heat, so I don't mind it. Most classes go a few minutes late and encourage participants to stretch out in corpse pose at the close of the class in order to re-coop. So, getting in and out takes about 2 good hours. It's a chunk of time and I have no idea how I'm going to keep this up once I'm back at work.

I knew Jessi wouldn't be playing much during tonight's game. She missed two days of practice which her coach complained about several times to her tonight. She only got to play for one quarter. The girls started out winning for the first time this whole season but lost the lead by the half. I know Jessi is super frustrated with the whole situation. She loves playing the game but feels practices are not preparing the team well enough for the game.  At times, I can tell she's confused out on the court and I know she's not the only one, I just notice it more on her. I keep hoping that a win might help turn things around mentally for the team, and I really want to be there when it happens. The truth is they need a lot more.
 

My foot in the door...

Vacation is coming to an end but we are all still very much on rest & relaxation mode. Jessi stayed home sick, but Monika had a meeting at school today, so I popped in to say hello to a few friends. I even had lunch with one, Josh. I'm not ready to think too much about school, but I did start thinking about the Prom. I met up with the kids organizing the dance to look over the venue and start the planning process. We have plenty of time, but the time to start is now.

I went to hot yoga today and left the room soaking wet. I'm taking it easy this month, being a little more careful knowing I'm coming in everyday. In the past I would maybe do a hot yoga class once a week at the most and then do couple of "power" classes or a yin class with a few days off inbetween. The power yoga classes are more calisthenic than the bikram hot yoga classes. I found those power classes left my shoulders aching (especially if I did all the push ups) and my feet in pain. There's a great article in the NY Times about the problems with yoga. It's eye opening. Changing up the classes I'm taking for the 30 day challenge I am doing was purposeful. I am hoping to strengthen my legs and avoid the pain in my shoulders. The heat is excruciating at times but addictive-- 105 degrees won't hurt me! BUT in the past month I've witnessed several people pass out completely. During today's class of the 40 students practicing, 11 left the class early, some within the first 1/2 hour. I'm understanding more and more that I need to tread lightly on this journey.

The very first day.

So I've decided to take at least ten 30 day challenges this year, maybe I'll do twelve. I decided to take each month, and like breathing, take something on one month then pull something off the next-- in and out. For this first month I am taking a 30 day challenge that was set before me a couple of years ago, but has been too difficult for me to do thus far. I am going to take a hot yoga class everyday. I'm not going to do just any class-- some are fun and some are easy. I'm doing hot yoga for 30 days in a row. Today's class kicked my ass so hard I'm wondering if this is going to work out. 

For 20 years-- off and on-- my new year's resolution was to lose 20 pounds. I lost those pounds at least once, I think twice. I'd like to lose those same 20 pounds again this year, but the older I get the more I realize the whole weight thing is about lifestyle. Maybe one of my 30 day challenges will be to give up food and then I'll loose 20 pounds for sure! It'll come right back on though. I know the 2nd challenge, for February will be to give up Facebook.  A full internet sabboth would be grand, but my job is dependant on email and I love posting my blog daily. So I'll give up the excess. I don't have March or beyond figured out, but March will be connected to my Lent commitment and I want to do 30 days of swimming in the summer. 

I finished our family scrapbook this morning. I worked on it until 2am last night and then got up at 7am for a walk with Balt and started working on it instead of going back to bed. I had all three girls look at the finished book on line and I got thumbs up all the way. I spent $40 to have it made into a real book, sized to match all of my other scrapbooks. I'm very excited about this new process. It's so clean!

Take a breath

I got to school early this morning to take a yearbook picture with the newspaper kids. I've been getting out with Balt at 7am and walking in the dark. It was kind of balmy yesterday, today was freezing. When the yearbook didn't show up, I took a picture, but we were missing lots of kids too. The week's been kind of crazy busy, not just for me, for everyone.

Tomorrow I'm out of the building again, so I had to make sure my students were all on track today. I worked through lunch again, missing out on the swim I had hoped to do. BUT after school I got another walk in with Balt and finally made it to a yoga class. Yoga was intense but so wonderful- just what I needed. I've been working on completely relaxing in a way that doesn't end up with me snoring. I found that listening intently to my breathing, so that I don't snore, has helped. I believe this practice is supposed to help me find some kind of hightened spiritual place (Hinduism?) which is kind of out there. At best, I am finding a complete release of tension, which seems to be in abundance in my household right now. The bad news is that I'm also lowering my metabolism, so while I don't come home very hungry, I am learning to eat a very light dinner after yoga.

2 steps forward...

and 1 step back? 

I went to a Bikram hot yoga class for the first time this month this evening. Bikram is quite a different beast from power yoga or other Vinyasa flow yoga. I'm not sure what it is that makes it so intense. Only going once a month makes it very hard to feel much progress. My right foot has begun to hurt again, mostly in the heal. So my balance suffers greatly. It seems as soon as I feel like I am moving forward, I get set back a bit again.

The day was busy at school. There too, I start feeling like everything is awesome and then I get moments of feeling like I am drowning. There is so much to do at times, but I have learned to just tread water when I need to. I am very excited about the posters my Media class have produced. Of course only about half of them are done with the other half trickling in. Once finished, I need to get them printed and displayed. It is my hope that once on display, this class will get some positive exposure. It's a class with a lot of energy. If that energy can be used to bring positives messages to the student body, than I will feel I have had great success. 

Living in the present

 After driving all the way to Indian Hills dog park with my spouse, we found it closed for a race-- super dissappointing for Balt especially. BUT we ran over to the Middleton park. Although it is inferior, we got a good walk in. It was quite brisk this morning but warmed as the day went on. Today was a busy day for the Ford family, but not too busy for an afternoon yoga class. Jessi had a big swim invite that I decided not to attend. I knew it would be exciting, but it would take the whole day away and Monika had a soccer game. Monika ended up getting a ride with her friend to the game and her dad went to watch, so that gave me even more time to cook and do laundry. While I enjoyed my yoga class, I missed out on taking pictures of either Jess or Moni, but it made for a very relaxing day...

During yoga we are asked to come to the mat and practice in the present. All thoughts of the day, the week the season, the future and the past are let go. I think only of what it is my body is doing and sometimes what it needs, like to stop and breathe or drink. Today was a tough class but a very present hour. Below, Melissa shared an animation about how we think of time and I thought it extremely interesting. I thought I'd share it too. I came to better understand how it is I think of time after watching it.

 

Lovin' this warm Autumn streak!

So far October in Madison has been wonderful--no rain, lots of sun and warmth! This weekend was an 80's dream. Balt enjoyed an early run through the dog park. We took our time, enjoying the walk in the park in the sunshine.  As soon as I got home, I had to rush Monika to get ready for her soccer game out in Belleville. I took Balt along for company. I didn't have much time after the game to get ready for my 3:30 yoga class. There was no way I was going to miss it. 

During our cool down, the instructor read from an article in the NY Times about yoga. While yoga can lower ones metabolism (thus making you fat), it also lowers ones fight-or-flight hormones and improves circulation and inner flexibility. Now I know why I haven't lost as much weight as I had hoped doing so much yoga, but also know I am calmer, much calmer. 

Having a husband home for the weekend is nice but it doesn't help me with housework. The laundry is still not done, but we had a wonderful spaghetti dinner. The girls were all home and it was rare dinner with all five of us. I wanted to take a picture, but no one would allow it. The girls all have tons of homework. Everyone is tired even after the weekend. We are talking about vacation already. 
 

It's my week...

Yes, the whole week. My birthday is Friday and I started celebrating today.  I like to celebrate my birthday so I won't even pretend I don't. I'll tell anyone who asks how old I am and say it without too much disappointment. I mean, I certainly don't feel as old as I am, but I am starting to look it. So, I signed up for these workshops about two months ago, knowing it would take up most of the day. It was a birthday gift from my summer self to my working self understanding I would be short on time and money at this time. I started the morning taking Balt up to Indian Hills for a jaunt and then cleaned up for yoga, finding furniture in our front yard. It looks like Jessi's friends have made another delivery. Oh, high school kids are so much fun.

The first workshop was on detoxifying the body, but it wasn't what I expected at all. After an explanation of the chakras, the instructor went on to identify mental stumbling blocks and emotional holding patterns. The workout was intense enough with the goal to purify the lymphatic and digestive systems to release toxins, stress and emotions lodged in deeper tissues of the body. It was more enlightening than I could have imagined. The second workshop was not as popular, perhaps because most folks don't want to do 5 hours of straight yoga. The instructor, Ashley Turner, shared the yogic secrets of happiness with a much more intense practice than I expected. She shared new research that backs up old ways. I learned a lot--the 5 Kleshas or reasons for suffering; ignorance, self-centeredness, attachment to pleasure, avoidance to pain and fear of death. I learned a very long time ago that just pretending to be happy can make you happy, just as the physical effort of smiling will bring joy to the heart. We held intense poses that make you want to complain and grunt, then smiled through them thinking of things that would bring us happiness. 

The more I practice yoga, the better I understand just how holistic it is. One starts with the body, approaching yoga to make the body feel better, but the mind follows and I think the spirit as well. As Ashley talked of the 7 chakras, connecting them to the 7 colors in the light spectrum and explaining them as 7 developmental modes of life-- beginning with the base(red) then moving to the crown (purple)-- I understood what I was hearing was very new for me and yet was very old knowledge from Hindu and/or Buddhist traditions. There is a bit of a new age "mumbo jumbo" -ness to it but the reality is that science is finally catching up to all that and proving it to be truth. Don't worry, I am not ready to sign up to be an "urban priestess" (Ashley teaches workshops on this topic as well).

I left my workshops nearly 6 hours later (a short break in between) with just enough time to shower and pick up Monika from her soccer game. It had rained most of the game, so she was wet but in good spirits. We had left overs for dinner-- I had made lasagna and quiche yesterday. The girls worked on homework, while I watched an episode of the Tudors on netflix, happy to have had such a selfish Sunday. 

Rained out and that's okay.

Monika's first tennis match was rained out. She didn't even get to play because she got a bye the first round. She left feeling kind of victorious, since she won't have to make up a game that was started. Everyone else playing got poured on. Once home, I had lots of time in the morning I had not planned on to continue working on t-shirt designs and the Art Department poster. Josh finished up our South Park caricatures and they are pretty amazing. I finish the project with schedules on a background. It's a pretty cool tag team project.

I made it to yoga at 3:30. It's a favorite class with a favorite teacher. As with many teachers, she asked that we set an intention to our yoga practice for the time together. I am always a bit befuddled by this as my purpose for being there is selfish. Often in the past my intention is simply to survive the experience, but I have tried to ask for strength or for a positive mindset. Today the teacher shared the quote, "All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” (Budha) I became comely overcome with this idea that I know is so true. I found myself smiling as I practiced. The class was overwhelming at times and I could not do all the moves, but I liked it. I came to realize that I very much enjoy most of all the things I do.

It's easy to love vegetables in the summer!

I made a broccoli salad today. I had a couple of bunches that were starting to bloom, so I needed to eat it all up fast. The broccoli slaw recipe I had used ramen noodles, so that was a no go. I found other recipes with mayo and I can't do that either. I finally found this recipe that I love:Chopped up broccoli heads with stems, Red onion chopped up, Chopped pecans, Raisins, Apple vinegar cider and oil- I used walnut oil. I threw in some soy sauce and ginger just to spice it up a bit more. I loved this salad. I ate some for lunch and dinner-- it was quite filling.

With a high of 95 & 80% humidity, it's even too hot for the pool, but it's never too hot for hot yoga. With all of my fruit and veggies I'm eating, I knew it would be a good time to detox, so I did a Bikram set at noon. I sweat so much my face hurt from the constant pouring out of liquid. I got a little shaky, knowing my plum-grapefruit smoothie for breakfast was not enough. I feel frustrated at times that after a solid year of yoga practice,inconsistently consistent as it is, I still feel like a beginner at times. I still struggle with balance and strength--made worse because of my feet. Still, I left today invigorated

The Ford is in the shop so I had to do a little extra picking up and dropping off today. I don't mind it at all, and sometimes wish we could go back to being a one car family, but I know others are much more bothered than I am.  Monika had a school planning meeting today and Jessi is working all week at her pool. I decided to go to Costco for dinner. I was craving strawberries and I could get a roasted chicken and cheese pizza for the family. Everyone was happy. I made a strawberry lemonade for dessert. Heaven.

I love Sundays

My favorite part of the weekends lately have been the 3:30pm yoga classes. The time is perfect as it gives me all morning to get stuff done and all evening as well. One of my favorite poses lately has been Gorilla Pose (Padahastasana - pah-da-has-tahs-anna). It stretches the hamstrings and lower back and improves circulation into the wrists and hands. It also relieves mild anxieties somehow. Stepping on my hands used to be difficult and somewhat painful but now I can knead all my weight down on each hand one at a time (like a cat that kneads at bedding). On Sundays my favorite yoga teacher at Inner Fire teaches at 3:30pm she plays good music (see below) and will usually mention an interesting article in the New York Times. Today's mention was about rejection. According to the article, "...bad breakups and hot coffee elicited a similar response in the brain, at least as measured by fMRI machines." That's spilled hot coffee. Hot coffee makes me think of love and acceptance, not rejection! 

As I thought on the real pain of rejection, I wondered if in the end it makes us stronger, thicker, and more able to tolerate it. BUT if the pain is as real as being burned in our brains, then it makes more sense that rejection hurts every time the same or perhaps even worse? It still hurts when I find that a student doesn't like me or my class, when my daughters don't want me around, when I find a bunch of friends have gathered socially without inviting me. I react with maturity now, roll it off like it doesn't matter. That doesn't mean I don't feal it anymore, I know. 

Jim came home this afternoon after a week away training. We all had dinner together and now the girls are watching a movie with him. It was a good day for relaxing, getting a few things done. I spent time outside with Balt, weeding dandilions. It was a small taste of summer...

How do you feel?

I made it to yoga, finally, this week. At the beginning of the class, the instructor asked how we all felt and told us we looked like shit. It was pretty funny, but I think it was true. On Sunday, the instructor informed us that because the world was upside down, so should we be. She then had us on our heads off and on throughout the class. I woke up Monday with quite the sore neck. The truth be known-- Wisconsin feels very upside down right now and  a lot of  Madisonians feel like shit.  I can't believe there's anyone in this state happy with what's going on here. Who wants severe cuts in education across the board? The UW, MATC and of course, local schools all are going to suffer greatly with hundreds of possible lay-offs in our district alone. It's what everyone is talking about throughout the day at school so it gets kind of depressing at times. As busy as Jim is, he's finally posted a bit about his take. Here's arecent sum-up of what's going down at the capitol from the New York Times.

The day was crazy fast with Backyard and a PCT whole staff meeting. We looked at how the budget cuts were going to play out and how schools might make up time missed. The best part of the meeting was the cake at the end. My classes are busy working, so the day goes quickly without behavior problems, only metals related problem solving. Hall Duty is interesting and quite social, especially as we bump into folks who have decided to retire because of all the problems. After a tech committee meeting, I took Balt for a walk, picked up Jessi from basketball (two days left!), grabbed sandwiches for the girls so I could get my yoga workout in. After yoga, I spent some time with Jim watching a Lie to Me episode, catching up on news and sipping decaf. 

Sometimes I cry.

It was good Monday, as far as Monday's go. Work is work and I got a few things done but have progress reports this week and a fused glass project in metals to teach, so it will get busier. I got in the pool today at lunch for the first time in a few weeks. It made the day better. I went to a traditional hot yoga class tonight. I've avoided hot yoga for a while, opting for power yoga most of the time in order to get a more aerobic and fun workout. Hot yoga is more intense mentally and there is no music to distract you from the long intense poses. I have found the traditional Bikram hot yoga poses are a little easier now, but the mental intensity is just as difficult. Hot yoga teaches me to work calmly through stress. The physical practice of putting myself in a very uncomfortable place and learning to breath through it transfers into real life... most of the time.

The frustrating part of this open forum, my blog, is that, well, it's wide open. In general, my posts are written for family and friends, but anyone can read it so I have to edit myself. Stuff happens at school all the time that I can't really talk about. My kids have stuff that they ask me not to blog about and until recently, Jim didn't even want to be mentioned. My motivation for writing is sometimes therapeutic. I often mull over ideas in my mind and wonder how I can communicate it in written form and then realize it's just too big or complicated to write about or just too private.

I struggle in life, maybe like everyone. I find it is a lot like in the yoga studio and I'm finally learning to breath calming. I'm understanding that practice makes it a little easier, but sometimes I can't take it. I've fallen over more than a few times. Luckily I catch myself--but that doesn't mean I'm not afraid of falling. As a large (for yoga practicing standards- I'm large) 45 year old woman, I have limits and I struggle between understanding the difference of what I am capable of and what I am just afraid of. 

Tonight I did toe stand for the first time. I had been too afraid to try until tonight. I didn't do it perfectly but in time I imagine I will be able to do it respectfully with more grace then wobbly rendition I did this evening. As I look at my life, my career, my relationships, I struggle between understanding the difference what I am capable of and what I am afraid of. It is easy to go through the moves that are comfortable and not try the ones that are too hard. I want to be better. 

I read an email tonight that made me upset. I wanted to lash out (I was ready to call the email subject "gasoline") but I am learning to breathe. I called a friend instead and cried. Crying feels really good when your upset-- I think it is as detoxifying as sweating in a hot yoga studio for an hour. I only cried for half an hour and I'm still tearing up writing this dumb blog post. I hadn't cried as intensely as I did tonight in a very long time, I guess it was needed. 

I still don't have answers and my problems aren't solved. I'll make sure to go to yoga again tomorrow and in a couple of months, I think I'll need to cry again.

What are you looking for?

It was not quite the most relaxing Sunday, but after 3 days of leisure it was time to get some work done. I started the morning at an intermediate yoga class that did a nice job of getting my butt into gear. I've been reading the New York Times lately (new iPhone ap) and yesterday read a very interesting article about Hinduism wanting to "take yoga back." The more I practice yoga, I have a better understanding of why the president of a Southern Baptist seminary warns that practicing yoga imperils the souls of Christians. I don't agree with him, I just am more aware of why he might fear it.  Not every class ends with an "Om" session but today's did. It is said to be the oldest mantra, a ‘primordial sound’, traditionally chanted at the beginning and/or end of yoga sessions. It's origin is somewhat obscure, but chanting "Om" is supposed to fill one with peace, calmness, tranquility and serenity. I'm not sure I buy it. It still just feels weird. I do like ending the class with "namaste" which literally means that “I bow down to you out of respect or reverence”. I offer namaste of gratitude to the teacher and then always finish with a low bow to God.

The rest of my Sunday seemed jammed with errands, a soccer game, homework help, grocery shopping and a little scrapbooking. I met up with Jim for some coffee at the end of the day to catch my breath. We both are gearing up for 3 weeks of business as usually; busy-ness. 

Kind of like crying.

I woke up to the rain early this morning. The cats wanted out anyway and it wasn't too hard so I let them go out there. I went back to bed and was woken by the thunder a couple of hours later. The rain was coming down hard so I went down to see if the cats wanted back in and all three of them were right by the front door ready to run in as I opened it. It was pretty funny to hear them all "yelling" at me with their loud meowing complaints. It was wonderful to sleep in and lounge around this morning-- just what I needed. I made coffee and blueberry muffins for the girls. Jessi wanted eggs and bacon, not muffins, she got eggs with cheese. She's gotten into Chuck so I watched a bunch of bits of several episodes with the girls in between my cleaning up, doing laundry and vacuuming. I even had a fire going even though it wasn't that cold, but it was perfect for the mood of the day.

Jessi had a Halloween party today. She went to decorate at noon, then to a friends house to dress up at 4pm-- they were Vampires from India-- and then to the party at 5pm. I had to pick her up after at 7pm-- just enough time to squeeze in a yoga class. 

There are so many days that I can't fit in just one hour for a yoga class because I have to pick up, drop off or help out one of the girls. I'm only 2 classes behind on my 4 per week commitment, but it's so hard to catch up. When the sweat is running down my face, it kind of burns my eyes. I often feel like I'm crying in class. I am finding many teachers who will ask for students to set an intention for the class. I like doing this. It is said that if you want to grow stronger in your life in any particular area, then you only need to direct more attention to it. Intention, on the other hand is said to transform it. Yogic practice teaches that your intention has organizing power. My intention in yoga is most often to find physical restoration and that involves a lack of resistance. I don't want to be in a fight with my body and while I would like a good work out, I also want to go home restored. Lately, I have been ending my yoga classes setting an intention for life after. When the class is over we offer prayer hands and say, "namaste" but then after that I bow low, to God Almighty and offer my submission. True submission of the will is no easy task and while I have as a ring tone, Rush's live version of "Freewill," I still figured it was a good way to make a transformation in my life.

Tie-dye Tuesday

There was a lot of tie-dye at school today. Monika and I wore it, but Jessi was in her University of Athens sweatshirt which cracks me up. She seems to be a day behind. I suspect she may show up in tie-dye tomorrow while the rest of the school are wearing their neighborhood colors.

We are working on the October issue of the newspaper, postponing it a week in order to get homecoming events in there. I took pictures of drama yesterday to make sure to promote the fall play in the next issue. I have tried to do less this year. I have a layout editor who is doing the bulk of work that I did last year, so I am so happy to feel like a real advisor. I feel guilty if I do too much since it is a student paper, but I also really like doing it. I had a very nice chat with the school principal today about working the paper into a class. Since I am not an English teacher, I could not teach it as a journalism class, although he suggested I team taught it with someone in English. I tried to push a web design class three years in a row that kept getting rejected and don't really want to walk that road again. I would love to design a performance, production and publication class. A year long course where students would be able to work on the paper, the school website, the daily announcements, create signage throughout the school, perhaps even put on some kind of big fund raising event. I'm not sure why I like to make more work for myself? I could just teach metals and go home. There would be lots of time for yoga...

As for yoga, I did make it to the 5pm power yoga class today (thanks to Tia for the encouragement :). I was looking at my hands today and my palms are building up some callus from all the time I spend on them. I'm still figuring things out sometimes. Tonight as looked around while we moved into a flow from plank to push up to upward facing dog over to downward facing dog, I notice my feet were not facing in the same direction as most of my peers in class. I stayed on my toes while more advance students pulled their feet back like in cobra, toes facing down. I think toes up may be cheating, since one must pull your thighs off the ground. The more I learn, the harder it gets!

Homecoming Week

The seniors start the week off with "college apparel day". A lot of people who forget it's homecoming accidentally wear college apparel. I purchased a UC Santa Cruz sweat shirt to wear several years ago and it has been lost most likely by Erika. Monika had to wear an old sweatshirt Jim and I bought in 1994 from UW. I wore an Arizona sweatshirt from when Jim lived there. 

After school I stayed to help the Freshman finish their banner. Monika did a great job working to make sure it was really good. I think it might be the best one (better than my juniors even) BUT I am a biased mother. Now that she is done with tennis, she has time to connect with other kids,volunteer and do homework. It's kind of nice. Jessi is still in the thick of swimming for another month plus.

I actually made it to a yoga class tonight. I missed 2 classes last week from my commitment to do 4 per week. I was very sore today from yesterday's class but I have to do 6 classes this week if I am going to catch up and stay on track for my fall goal. After 4 days of no yoga my back and neck start to ache. I have found that just bending over in rag doll is so healing. It relieves a lot of stress from my lower back and pushes blood into my head where I can use all the brain help possible.

3 Showers and Vegan Shoes

I took three showers today. One in the morning before work, one at lunch after swimming and the third after my yoga class, after school. I ran out of work today to get to an inner fire flow class that begins in child's pose. I heard the instructor begin to talk but I wasn't really listening and then at some point I realized that had I lost consciousness. I woke up to find the class had begun, everyone was up in mountain pose and I had no idea if I had fallen asleep for 1 minute or 10.

I promised Monika that I would take her and her friend Homecoming dance dress shopping. We went to Macy's. I let the girls run off so that I could try on a pair of shoes. I had seen the shoes a couple of weeks ago and kept thinking about them. Jim gave me some money for my birthday and told me I could buy myself a pair of shoes so I did!

I love the shoes. They are called J-41's. The sales clerk said she had two pair, so I asked her if they might stretch since they fit me perfectly. She informed me that the shoes were VEGAN! So they will not stretch as they are all man made, animal friendly, waterproof, odor free and completely recycled --made by Jeep! Yes, Chrysler's JEEP. My feet will be wearing toe and heal bumpers made from recycled Jeep bumpers! I think that's cool. J-41 is the footwear of choice for individuals on-the-move. They practically have my name on them.

My Personal Summer Revolution

My yoga revolution was inspired by the challenge given at Inner Fire Yoga studio. My goal was to practice yoga 4 to 5 times a week this summer achieving 52 classes in 13 weeks, which I reached this weekend. I am supposed to receive a medal, but the reason I did it was for the experience, not the prize.

When I signed up I was asked for my reason and I wrote stress relief. I needed an activity that would not stress my body more then it was feeling already. I know I achieved that goal. My thyroid is now completely normal and while I don't think I lost any weight, I feel firmer and stronger. I have learned how to breathe again. I am considering signing up again for the Fall Revolution and making the time in school day for me.  I'm not sure how I can do it, but I may need to. I am seeing a change in my body press upon me especially as I approach 45 this month.

While I know that I got into yoga for the physical benefits, I am finding that it is teaching me to be more aware of my environment; how I treat my physical self with the air I breathe and the food I eat. I am hearing some of the emotional and psychological teachings in little bits here and there. I am beginning to understand that Yoga is about uniting the body with the spirit and the mind.

I had a girlfriend ask me how a Christian could attend yoga classes because yoga philosophy did not line up with Christian philosophy. I suppose if that were the standard for all activity, then really Christians should not go to McDonald's, because I'm pretty sure it's business philosophy doesn't line up with Christianity either. The other day at the end of my yoga class, the teacher asked us to accept forgiveness in our lives--it was really meaningful to me. I offered up a prayer right then and felt a wonderful wave of God's forgiveness. It made me think how the church is all about the spirit and not the body where as yoga understands that both need to be in balance. Wouldn't it be cool if part of church service was working out!? I think I'd really get into that.

She's on the road now!

Jessi has had 3 out of her 6 behind the wheel lessons and is now driving my car whenever she can. It's kind of scary for me and I'm really not a great driving teacher. Yoga has helped me a lot to relax when I am in the passenger seat. I know I'm not getting quite as worked up as I did with Erika and I really don't think Jessi is much better at driving. When she changes lanes, it's like a quick right and left turn-- not too smooth.

So I spent the day at school helping to interview 6 art teachers. We hired 1 without a lot of fuss. He's accepted the job and now a new era begins. 

After a full day I managed to get into the yoga studio for the very last class called Yin. I took one last year and never tried it again. The focus is on deep stretches that were quite painful when I attempted the class last year. This time I needed to get in the studio but didn't want to over exert my ankle since it was feeling better. The class was amazingly relaxing although I did get a bit of a sweat in between the heat and the length of time holding on to deep stretches-- 5 minutes each! 

Only 15 days left!

I am running out of days of summer! There are two weeks left officially, but in reality I have so much to do that I need to spend at least a little bit of time everyday at work from now on. I'll even have to spend a few days full time between interviewing, staff meetings, student government, registration, and newspaper. I went in this morning to chip away in between dropping off Monika to tennis and picking up Jessi from swimming. Then this evening I had the first newspaper meeting of the school year, which was quite a success.

I did manage to get a yoga class in and some swimming pool time. Today was my 45th class and I finally kind of hurt myself. I'm not sure how or even what exactly I did, but my ankle is hurting. It just starting hurting in the middle of today's class, as if it had finally just decided it could no longer stand having me stand on one foot any longer. There are a lot of one-legged poses in yoga and for some reason they continue to be difficult, if not more so as time continues, which of course is problematic. I'm hoping it will feel better tomorrow. I have only 7 classes to fit into the next 15 days, so I have some time to give my feet rest if I need to. 

Blue Door, Lazy Day

Today was a completely empty day. There was nothing on my agenda except to get a hot yoga class in. I slept in too late to do yoga in the morning, so I put on my gear for later in the day. I made french toast and hash browns for Erika and Monika and a fruit smoothie for Jessi. I decided it was finally time to work on my door. I've been procrastinating all my home improvement projects this summer. So I got it painted! Tomorrow I will try to remove the inside window in order to make room for the stained glass window I finished at the end of the school year. I hope to have the whole thing done by Monday or Tuesday.

My tomato plants are producing tons of cherry tomatoes. I planted Roma's as well, but only the cherry tomatoes are producing, so that's all my Greek salads are getting. I got in a trip to the grocery store with Jessi. She is trying to eat healthier so it was nice having her along to get the food she wanted (mostly fruit and yogurt). She had two more days of relaxing before swim team kicks her in the butt big time. She's a little fearful about making the team since she slacked off so much.

I did a traditional Bikram hot yoga class at 4pm for the first time this week. I have been doing all power and inner fire classes to work on breath and upper body stuff. The hot yoga classes are harder in a different way, mostly because they are longer and hotter so they take a lot more concentration. Poses in Bikram are somewhat different than other classes, like LOCUST. Bikram has the arms pulled completely under the body with the elbows and hands touching palms down (like bumping a volleyball) with the full weight of the body on top. The first time I did this pose I was in excruciating pain. It still is painful but the feeling of the blood returning to my arms after is pretty amazing. I do not yet have the back strength to pull my lower body up as high as the pictures show, but the purpose of the pose is to eventually strengthen the upper back but it is also helpful for carpal tunnel syndrome (which my mom now has, so she should give this a try).

I couldn't get away

It's hard to believe it's August first. It's time to start thinking about work-- not that I'm going to go at it full time! I don't want to get overwhelmed but I do have a lot that needs to get done before school starts between the newspaper and student government. I sent a few work related emails this morning after making a quiche and then went grocery shopping. After a bit of cleaning I met up with my two editors-in-chief at noon at Barnes and Noble. We have a newspaper that needs to come out at the beginning of the school year which means starting now. 

I made a quick lunch for Moni and I and then set out to finish HP7. I had to cut out at 5pm for a yoga class. It was my 32nd of the summer and I am now starting to get choosy with which teachers I sit under. I have a couple of favorites who make the class such a calming experience. I am starting to learn to breath deeper and practice better "Pranayama" -- that is the practice of yoga breathing. I am understanding that controlling the breath during the physical stress I am in during yoga will help me control the mental stress I have elsewhere.  I am finding though, that I am able reach deeper into the poses without as much physical stress. I am feeling yoga changing my health and well being for the good, but I have yet to actually lose weight. Maybe with more time?

With the new month here, I have decided to start a new project. I would like to start a book project. I have several book ideas, but the latest one is about a high school girl who moves from a small school to a school like Memorial. I have thought of posting my story as I write it, but I think it will be too raw to do that just yet. Jim was working on a short story a while ago and finally has created a draft he was able to post as a series on his blog. I may do that in the future. For now, I want to work on it one hour (or more) per day this month and see what happens. My daughters have all offered to help with editing and offing ideas. I was very excited to find Erika especially eager to help. This may be a very fun project. I hope!

(note- the picture is from a shoot Monika took of Jessi with a friend. I found this photo interesting. It made me think of the Flock of Seagulls song, I Ran.

Gettin' it in control.

This morning I had the pleasure of taking the Shorewood Swim Team photo. The weather was perfectly overcast, but the kids were kind of crazy. The coaches had their work cut out for them trying to get them in the pool in an orderly fashion. One of the coaches had a microphone but would not use it. I was dying to get my hands on the mic so I could yell at those 8 and unders! After nearly 15 minutes of chaos, I finally got the microphone. It took 7 or 8 shout outs to the team to calm down but they did. They were amazingly quiet for almost a minute. I got a few good pictures and then asked them to wave with one hand, then two. Finally I told them to let loose and have fun.

Jessi was not in the picture. It was the very last day of practice and she did not want to go. I am taking my mom's advise and not participating in any yelling with her. Tomorrow is All City and she does not expect to qualify for finals but she is excited to start over in August with Memorial Swimming. We had a nice conversation about the situation and I have to let go and let Jessi make her own decisions about her extra curricular activities. My disappointment doesn't really mean anything.

I finished up loading all of the software and music files onto the dell downstairs (our main family shared computer) that had been wiped clean and now is running like a new computer. It takes a ton of time, but it sure is nice to have a new computer again. I finished the day in a hot yoga class. The teacher was grumpy which does soar the experience. I continue to struggle with my one legged poses. My feet hurt more than they seem they should. BUT the detoxifying feeling of finishing 90 minutes of pulling, pushing, stretching, reaching and sweating so much I walk out of the room as wet as if I had jumped into a pool is amazing. 

Jim's Back!

Jim got back in the middle of the night last night from a week of canoeing and portaging in the Boundary Waters. I let him sleep in and went to Hot Yoga this morning.

I went to a foundations yoga class and found myself feeling very comfortable. I might be ready to take the intermediate class. Today was my 26th class for the summer. I have to get in 5 classes a week from now on in order to make my goal by August 31st. While I am feeling more comfortable with understanding what my body needs to do, I still struggle with balance, especially with all of the one legged stands.

Once I returned, I made breakfast for Jim, Monika and I. Erika had to work and Jessi had decided to stay at a friends for a couple of days after our blowout yesterday. Jim and I spent the rest of the morning and mid afternoon catching up. I heard lots of stories of his week and caught him up with mine. I'm sure he had a lot more fun than I did. He went to the gym and then I made my way to the pool. I made a nice dinner for the three of us and then we went for an nice evening walk. It was a perfect Sunday!

Please note his write up about his trip on his blog!

35 hours and counting...

Both Monika and Jessi had to get up this morning at 6am for athletic activities. While it makes for a long day, both girls get a nap in the afternoon and still are exhausted by 10pm. They both have a great network of friends that join them, so it makes it a lot more fun. Jessi's friend and her have been pool buddies since kindergarten! 

I made it to hot yoga at noon today and felt a sense of accomplishment in just completing my class. I start fantasizing about leaving at some point in the middle-- usually right around the 5th pose.   I think about just getting a splash of cold air or water and then coming back in, but I keep holding off until the next pose and eventually I make it through without leaving. It is interesting to see how some poses cause problems some times and others are a constant problem, like the 5th pose-- 'dandayamana janushirasana" or standing head to knee pose. It's the locking of the standing leg that really pains me and the locking of the held knee that causes me to fall over. The pose builds mental strength, uses all major muscle groups especially strengthening the back muscles. It's the pose that really starts the frustration that doesn't completely go away until the class is over. 

I got out the suitcase and started packing today. I took the girls shopping in the late afternoon. I called the banks and the tour company to make Jessi and my accounts were good to go. We leave Thursday morning, the countdown is on.